


Kings and Masters

by Hannah_Girl



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, F/M, Major Character Injury, Paralysis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Suicidal Thoughts, servitude, temporary disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_Girl/pseuds/Hannah_Girl
Summary: AU where Thorin, Fili, and Kili live. After the battle of the five armies, Fili deals with a debilitating injury and he and Kili suffer the emotional effects of war while Thorin and company try to rebuild their kingdom. They recover at the Lake-town master's secret mansion and meet two servants with mysterious pasts.
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s), Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was meant to be a trilogy but I never got around to writing the last two installments, so it sort of ends here. I may pick it up in the future, or I may turn it into a crossover, we'll see. But in any case, I wrote this story many years ago when I was involved in the Hobbit fandom, right now I'm just migrating it over here from FFN. It's AU, of course, so no canon complaints, please. I have the story complete but I'll be uploading the chapters one by one as I go through and edit them.

Kíli's heart stood still when he saw his brother's broken body before him. A thousand thoughts went through his mind. His brother, his Fíli, has just been taken from him. The orcs had just robbed him of his very soul. At that moment, Kíli too had ceased to live.

He had heard the commotion from where he had been hiding, was down below the fortress at Ravenhill. Thorin had sent them to the fortress to scout for the enemy, a task generally assigned to them and one that they did well. He and his brother had separated, and now he was berating himself for letting it happen. He had gone below, and Fíli had gone above. He was exploring the area around him when he heard his uncle's cry from above and across the deep ravine. The one word out of Thorin's mouth froze Kíli in his tracks.  _ "Fíli!" _ at that moment, Kíli's whole world turned on end. He ran to the stone opening and tried to crane his head up to see what was above him. But he couldn't. He could hear, though. The shuffling of metal and the pounding of feet as the orcs stood at the top of the complex and grinned at Thorin and Dwalin as they stood on the plateau, too far away to do anything but watch.

Despite the distance, Thorin tried to get to his nephew. He paced back and forth at the ledge like a caged bull. His eyes were wide with terror as he fixated on his eldest nephew who dangled helplessly in the pale orc's cruel grip. He growled in desperation and agony, knowing that Azog was about to rob him of his heir.

"Run, Thorin!" Fíli choked out, his body already hurting from the abuse he had suffered upon capture. He had tried to fight but was surrounded and overpowered. He was going to die; he knew this. He didn't see Azog pull out his sword, but he saw Thorin scream his name. He knew what was coming before he felt it. He locked eyes with his uncle, one last time.

Azog drove the sword into the side of the blonde dwarf, and Fíli cried out in pain. His body erupted in pain, and his knees buckled. He was being held up entirely by the pale orc.

Fíli was thrown from the ledge and landed on his back just out of reach of his brother. Kíli felt tears well up in his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to run to his fallen brother laying right in front of him. But they were still up there, and they'd see him if he came out of where he was hiding. They'd catch him and kill him just as they had done to Fíli. Kíli wasn't too afraid of that possibility. He was dead inside now anyway. But there was something he needed to do first. He had to survive long enough to take revenge for his brother. They had taken his Fíli from him, and now Kíli would take their lives. All of them, as many as he could catch. Then, and only then, could he join his brother.

With a mighty war cry worthy of a son of Durin, Kíli charged up the ramparts towards the orcs above. The orcs reacted to him immediately and charged to meet him. He wasted the first few of them as soon as they reached him, slicing one in half and beheading the other. He let his raw emotions drive him. He growled and roared as he ran up onto the upper level of the complex. With every kill, he worked himself into a fighting frenzy spurred on by hate, anger, and the need for revenge.

Once at the top, Kíli caught sight of Thorin and Dwalin on the plateau a distance away. His uncle was trying to get to him, he knew, but he was being prevented from getting to the complex by the pale orc. Kíli gasped when he saw Azog charge Thorin and the two engage in a desperate hand to hand combat. But he had his own battle. He had to trust that Thorin would be victorious.

Kíli dropped all the orcs that came to him. After a while, they stopped coming. He panted, adrenaline surging through his body. When he whirled around, looking for more orcs to fell, he came face to face with Bolg, son of Azog. The large gangly orc approached menacingly, sword at the ready. Kíli took a breath and approached, his own sword ready. The two circled one another, locking gazes, feeling a cold mutual hatred for one another.

The grotesque orc attacked first. He charged Kíli, but the dwarf swiftly dodged out of the way and landed an attack of his own. He swung his sword, but Bolg turned and blocked with his own. He grabbed the little dwarf and flung him hard into the wall of the complex. Kíli grunted, the wind knocked out of him from the impact, but he was on his feet before Bolg could reach him, ready to continue the fight.

This carried on for a while; block, parry, dodge, swipe. Kíli found himself getting tired after a while. The massive orc was powerful and large and a challenge for a small dwarf. Wounds and bruises appeared all over his body as Bolg threw him and kicked him with every opening he got. 

But Kíli wasn't finished quite yet. Just as his uncle had faced down the pale orc in battle long ago, and just as he was doing so again at this very moment, Kíli was holding his own. He was proving his might in battle. He would not be an easy kill for this orc.

It came down to the last assault. The orc was surprisingly cut up, Kíli had landed a hit on his giant arm and across his face. Black blood spilled into his eye as he turned on the dwarf and prepared for a kill.

Kíli was in much worse shape. He limped, he could hardly stay upright. He felt the intense agony of cracked ribs, and he tasted blood in his mouth. But he was still standing. As the orc charged him, Kíli braced himself. He watched as the orc barreled towards him at lightning speeds. Then, just as Bolg raised his sword to finish the dwarf off, Kíli dodged out of the way. The next move was his. He thought about his brother, his uncle, and everything this orc had done to him and his family. He swung his sword with every inch of strength he had, so hard that when his blade impacted with Bolg's arm, he sliced it clean off, and his own arm sprained from the sheer force.

Kíli winced as he watched with satisfaction as Bolg roared in agony and surprise. Black blood spurted from the stump that was now what was left of his right arm. Kíli moved back and watched as the orc knelt on the ground, cradling his injury. The dwarf gripped his sword, ignoring the pain that shot up his arm. He moved in for the killing blow. As he approached, the orc glared up at him.

"This is for my brother, Orc Filth," Kíli growled, his voice low and dangerous, " _Imrid amrad ursul!_ " Kíli raised his sword above his head, ready to bring it down on Bolg's massive head, but as he did so, Bolg suddenly produced a dagger from his belt and darted forward, burying the blade deep into Kíli's stomach.

Kíli gasped as pain spread through him. He glanced down at the dagger now stuck in his gut. He looked forward and met Bolg's gaze. Mutual hatred burned in both expressions. Bolg still had his remaining hand on the hilt of the knife. Kíli mustered up the strength, and as Bolg yanked the dagger out of Kíli's body, the dwarf swung his sword one last time and impaled it in the orc's face. 

Bolg and Kíli both collapsed backward. When Kíli weakly rolled onto his side, he felt satisfied when he saw the lifeless body of Bolg, son of Azog laying before him.

Blood flowed from the gaping wound in Kíli's stomach. He gripped the injury as he struggled up to his knees. He was dying; he knew this. He could feel the life draining from him just as his blood stained the frozen stone below him. But he couldn't go now. Not here. He rolled onto his knees and hands and began to drag himself forward, heading back down the way he had come.

Kíli crawled down below the complex. He moved slowly; every inch was agony. The effort took every bit of strength he had. He tasted blood in his mouth. But finally, he made it back to his brother. Fíli lay where he had fallen in the snow. His body was cold, as cold as death. Kíli crawled to him and put his head on his brother's chest. Now, he could go, he thought. Now that he was with his brother. He lay there, listening to the world around him. He waited for the darkness to descend. He thought of Thorin. He wished he could see his uncle one last time, but he had finished what he set out to do, and now he could join Fíli. 

As Kíli finally gave into the darkness, he was unaware of the very faint thump underneath him. The soft, very weak, but the steady beating of Fíli's heart.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Thorin fought Azog with everything he had. For everything this vile orc had done to him and his family, for everything it had planned to do, Thorin swung his sword for everything he had suffered. The pale orc had killed his grandfather in front of him long ago, and now, he had robbed Thorin of his heir, his eldest nephew.

The massive orc's strength was overpowering as Thorin met his blade with his own. The two clashed for a moment, and each impact drove Thorin backward before he finally toppled over, landing hard on the icy stone. Azog moved to bring his sword down on Thorin, but the dwarf rolled out of the way just in time. Azog struck again, and Thorin turned again. Back and forth as the orc tried to impale the dwarf, and the dwarf remained one step away from death. Finally, Thorin kicked out, throwing his whole weight against the back of Azog's knee. The orc lost his balance, and Thorin scrambled to his feet before Azog crashed down on top of him.

Thorin charged the orc and landed a blow, digging his sword deep into the flesh of Azog's thigh. Then, the orc grabbed him by the arm, yanking the blade out and roaring in pain as he stood up, the dwarf now dangling from his grasp. Thorin twirled around, Azog's vise-like grip on his arm causing him to grunt in discomfort as he tried to swing at the orc with his sword while he dangled. He suddenly felt white-hot pain in his side as Azog dug his clawed hook hand deep into the dwarf's body. Thorin gasped in pain as his blood mixed with Azog's blood on the ground beneath them.

Azog withdrew his hook and threw the dwarf against the massive stone pillars. Thorin groaned in pain as his back absorbed much of the impact. He crumpled into a heap as the orc advanced towards him. The pale orc picked up his sword and charged Thorin, ready to run him through and end him.

As the orc ran at him full speed, Thorin pulled his own sword out and got to his feet. The two impaled each other simultaneously on one another's sword. Thorin felt the blade enter his torso just under his ribcage while his own blade struck Azog right through his massive chest. The pale orc let out a defeated roar and slid off Thorin's sword, toppling over backward, lying lifeless at the dwarf king's feet.

Thorin sighed in relief. The pale orc was finally defeated. He gasped out a few times as he pulled Azog's blade out of his body. He staggered away, the pain slowly replacing adrenaline now that the fight was over. The wounds in his torso both poured with blood and his back screamed in agony. He left a trail of blood as he staggered along, holding his injury. 

"KILI!!!" he cried at the top of his lungs as he slowly lurched towards the complex where his nephews had been. The pain of Fili's death stung him even more now that the fight was over and he desperately needed to see that Kili had survived this.

"Thorin..." Thorin whirled at the sound of his own name and found Dwalin and Bilbo approaching him from the direction he was headed. Dwalin was quickly at his king's side, hurrying to help him walk.

"My sister-son... My Kili..." Thorin muttered as he leaned on Dwalin, eyes searching desperately for any sign of his youngest, and now, the only nephew.

"They're over here," Bilbo said, a grim look on his face. "This way." With Dwalin's help, Thorin followed the hobbit to the complex and down into the ravine where when he rounded the corner, he gasped in despair.

Fili lay where he had been thrown, unmoving. And draped across him was Kili, his head resting on his brother's chest. Both appeared lifeless, and blood stained the snow around them. "No... no..." Thorin pulled away from Dwalin and fell to his knees, raw emotion enveloping him at the sight. He crawled the distance to his fallen sister-sons.

The king didn't hide his tears that flowed from his face, and he choked a few sobs as he gently rolled Kili off of his brother and into his arms. He then pulled Fili into his arms as well. Their bodies were cold as he cradled them tightly in his arms. His strength left him just as his own blood and tears did and he slumped backwards against a pillar, buried his face in the mess of blonde and brown hair, and wept.

As Dwalin looked on with sympathy, it was Bilbo who refused to accept this. He knelt in front of the three durins and studied Fili and Kili carefully. His brow furrowed as he glanced over the stab wounds in Kili's stomach and Fili's side, both leaked with blood though it was beginning to dry. Blood dripped from both of their mouths. They both appeared to have passed on from this life, but only the hobbit's sharp eyes saw the ever so slight twitch of Fili's hand and only the hobbit heard the very faint whimper from Kili.

Bilbo's breath hitched in hope as he reached forward and pressed his finger to Fili's neck. The blonde dwarf's body trembled with the movements of his uncle's body as Thorin continued to weep, oblivious of the world around him. At first, Bilbo felt nothing, and he began to think that what he had seen was only his imagination. But then, he felt the very faint pulse, almost too weak to be felt. His eyes went wide in surprise, "He's alive!" he shouted loudly. "He's alive!"

Thorin glanced up at him, his face wet with tears. He blinked as if he hadn't quite registered what the hobbit said. Dwalin hurried over to verify what Bilbo had said, feeling for a pulse himself. "It's true..." he said incredulously. "Fili's alive. But barely, Lad. Let's lay him down and get him warm." Thorin said nothing, only gasped in surprise and hope as he relinquished hold of his oldest nephew as Dwalin pulled Fili gently from his grasp and laid the young dwarf out on the snowy ground in front of his uncle. Bilbo tore off a piece of his jerkin and dabbed at Fili's stab wound while Dwalin pulled off his own cloak and draped it over him.

Bilbo hurried back to Thorin and turned his attention to Kili, hoping against hope as he pressed his finger to Kili's neck as the youth lay in his uncle's arms. Kili's pulse was slightly stronger than his brothers, but they were both still in the land of the living. Bilbo gave Thorin a reassuring smile, "You haven't lost them," he said, though he knew that Fili and Kili's injuries were severe and their newly found hope could quickly return to despair and grief. 

"Keep him warm too," Bilbo said, taking his own jerkin off and draping it over Kili. He noted that Thorin had begun to turn pale himself, he noted the blood seeping through his armor. Thorin was unconcerned, ignoring his own wounds, as he only had eyes for his sister-sons. But his body was beginning to weaken, and in this freezing weather, they were all in danger. Bilbo glanced to Dwalin. It was up to the two of them to care for the king and his princes. 

"Can we carry them?" Bilbo asked, glancing around them. He knew full well that he didn't have the strength to carry a full-grown dwarf, much less three. Dwalin shook his head, "The trip to Erebor would take too long," he said, "They'd never make the journey."

Bilbo tried to think. He refused to let go of this newfound hope, but as the evening began to descend and the temperature dropped even further, he worried they were only delaying the inevitable. He shivered and then, his sharp ears picked up on the best noise he could have heard. "Eagles!" he gasped. He glanced to Dwalin who was diligently caring for Fili, then turned to Thorin and gasped. The king's strength had finally given out, and his grip on Kili loosened as he succumbed to darkness. The last thing Thorin heard before passing out was the cries of eagles on the wind.


	3. Chapter 3

The world was calm and still and for a moment in time; Thorin had no thoughts, no cares, no worries. For a moment, he thought he was dead, and nothing seemed to matter to him anymore. But memory slowly began to seep into his consciousness. 

He didn’t open his eyes right away, wanting only to listen and to feel. It was warm and soft. He gathered he was in bed. Around him, he could hear the faint ticking of a clock and the creak of someone wandering about near him. He could hear the crackling of a fire and could smell the sweet scent of pipeweed in the air.

He groaned before opening his eyes, blinking at the brightness. “Ahh,” came Gandalf’s familiar voice. “Welcome back to the world of the living, Thorin Oakenshield.” Thorin slowly moved his head to his left, and Gandalf’s large form came into focus. He was sitting in a rocking chair by Thorin’s bedside, smoking his pipe. The wizard gave Thorin a hard glance as he looked him over.

“Where am I?” Thorin croaked, his voice hoarse from misuse. He gazed around at his surroundings. He was in what seemed to be bedchambers. All around him were signs of luxury. Gold trim statues decorated the area; thick oak furniture lined the room. And he lay in a bed of silk sheets; they were the most comfortable he had ever laid in. He was bare-chested, and his torso was wrapped in bandaging.

“You are in the private lakeshore residence of the master of Lake-town,” Gandalf answered. “This is one of the many bedchambers in this somewhat opulent manor which the master has so… graciously allowed us to use as a house of healing for the many souls wounded in this battle.”

Thorin’s eyes suddenly fell on something just beyond Gandalf. “Kili…” he gasped, trying to lift his head as he caught sight of his nephew laying in another bed behind Gandalf. He quickly turned his head the other direction to find Fili laying in a third bed to Thorin’s right. Then, like a rushing waterfall, the memories came rushing back to him. The war, the battle, the death, the blood. The sight of his nephew’s broken bodies as he held them both in his arms.

“Not so fast,” Gandalf said, pushing Thorin back down. The king was overwhelmed with dizziness and with fear as he kept his eyes on his nephew’s still forms. Fili was bare-chested, his chest peppered with bruises and lacerations. A bandage wrapped around his torso, along with what looked like a cloth back brace. A nasty looking gash was visible above his right eyebrow. But he was alive. Thorin could see the steady rise and fall of his nephew’s chest as he breathed.

Kili was dressed similarly, but Thorin could see a large bruise on the brown-haired dwarf’s torso, poking out under the layers of bandaging. Kili’s breathing was uneven and hitched with pain, even in his sleep.

“How are they?” Thorin asked, looking at Gandalf. He felt his stomach drop when Gandalf hesitated to answer him. “Gandalf?”

“Oin is… hopeful that they will recover fully,” Gandalf said after a pause, giving Thorin a reassuring smile. But his tone of voice lacked confidence. 

“Gandalf,” Thorin probed, looking at the wizard. 

“Well, they both received serious injuries,” Gandalf said. “You did, as well. But I’m afraid you are in the best condition between the three of you. Kili broke a few ribs, and one of them got into his lung. I’m afraid Master Oin had to operate to remove the bone. He’s having some trouble breathing, as you can see. Also, he lost massive amounts of blood from his blade wound. And he was exposed to the cold for far too long, as were you and Fili; the lads both nearly froze to death. But… for now, he is stable, and that is more than any of us can hope for.”

Thorin swallowed, receiving the news stoically before asking, “Fili?”

“The lad is in more serious condition,” Gandalf replied. “The wound he received was bad enough, but I’m afraid it was the least of his woes. The injuries from his fall were extensive. He has a bad head injury, as you can see. But Thorin he’s broken his leg… and his back.”

Thorin blanched a little when he received that news. Fili broke his back. A seasoned warrior like Thorin knew what an injury like that might mean. “Can it be repaired?” he asked, wincing a bit.

“I can’t say,” Gandalf said, “He may recover and he may not. At this point, they are both lucky enough to be breathing.”

“Why can’t you do something for them?” Thorin demanded accusingly. “Are you not a wizard?”

“There are limits to my magic,” Gandalf responded firmly. “I assure you, I have aided them as much as I can, but the three of you are not the only ones injured in this war and magic has been stretched quite thin in this.”

Thorin lay back in his bed and let out a breath, fear, and worry coursing through him as he stared up at the ceiling. He was aware, if faintly, of the pain in his own gut, which made itself known every time he moved, but he was less concerned about that at the moment. But Gandalf, of course, found it necessary to point it out for emphasis, “You aren’t without injury yourself,” the wizard told him. “You have a few wounds of your own that need proper management and care.”

Thorin was about to respond with a snarky remark. He remembered Azog stabbing him well enough. But the pain of those injuries seemed minor compared to the pain that had followed when he had thought he had lost his nephews. And here they were, alive, but not well and the thought of having to lose them a second time terrified him.

Thorin’s thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, and Oin stepped in followed by Balin and the master of Lake-town. Oin silently moved over to Fili’s bedside with his apothecary and herbs and began to change the young prince’s bandages.

“Ah, so good to see you awake, your majesty!” the master said with an insincere grin. Thorin growled a little, not exactly thrilled.

“I see you managed to survive,” he replied.

“My home is at your disposal!” the master replied. 

Balin rolled his eyes, “For a price, it would seem,” he pointed out.

“Well everything has a price, I’m sure you understand that, Mountain King,” the master said with a shrug. “After all, we did house you and your company, and it isn’t as if you lack in gold.”

“How is it that this place managed to survive the dragon while the rest of Lake-town burned?” Thorin wondered.

“I can answer that for you, Thorin,” Gandalf said, “You see, it would seem that the master has an estate here on the eastern shores of the lake. Quite in secret of his subjects, I might add they are not permitted to venture across the lake to the eastern shore. In any case, instead of fleeing to Dale like the rest of his people, he came here to hide from the war.”

Thorin felt disgusted as he glanced at the master who shrugged, “One needs a place to get away from it all once in a while,” the master said. “This… modest abode was just a little gift I had made for myself. A little forest retreat when the hardships of governing a town get to be too much. Surely you would understand that?”

“It hardly appears modest,” Thorin pointed out. But he kept from saying anything more. His own recent conduct while he battled the dragon sickness had been less than honorable, after all.

“He plans to charge us for the boarding of all the wounded in here,” Balin pointed out, giving the master a look of disgust. “Three gold a night per bed and twice that for you and the lads.”

Thorin glared at the Lake-town master, but nodded, “Very well…” he growled. He felt a twinge of anger at being forced to part with even the smallest amount of his gold, but he shrugged it away. He would not allow this dragon sickness to get the better of him again, and he didn’t want to match the greed of this vile man before him. After all, gold wasn’t worth more than his people.

“Oh good,” The master said. “I knew you would be reasonable. And for an extra charge, I’ll even give you use of my house servants and cooks. Warm meals at your beck and call and tender care for all your weariness.” 

“I can care for them well enough,” Oin sneered at the master as he moved between Kili, Fili, and Thorin, checking their injuries and changing bandages.

“Thorin,” Balin said with a tone that said he meant to change the subject to more urgent matters. The master of Lake-town was ushered out of the room as Balin pulled up a chair to sit beside Thorin. “Master Bard and Thranduil are both requesting an audience with you when you are well enough.”

Thorin sighed, “Of course,” he said reluctantly. In truth, he had no qualms with Bard, and the bowman had plenty to be angry about regarding his dealings with the dwarf king. Thorin knew he had to try to reconcile their relationship. Thranduil, on the other hand. “I am not ready to meet with them,” he said. “But for now… tell Gloin to begin delivering payments of gold to the survivors of Lake-town. Enough to rebuild what they have lost and to bring them the prosperity they wish for.”

Balin nodded, “We have achieved the impossible, Thorin,” he said. “For that, we should be grateful. Erebor has fallen into the hands of the dwarves once more. Now begins the long road to rebuilding what we once had.”

Thorin nodded in agreement, “It has cost enough,” he said with sadness.

“Aye,” Balin agreed. “The price in blood was high.”

Thorin grunted in pain a little as Oin finished with his bandages. He looked at the healer, wanting answers, “How are they?” he asked with concern.

“No change,” Oin said. “Kili is certainly on the road to recovery; his lung is healing well enough. But Fili is still in poor condition. I fear if his back doesn’t heal properly, he may not walk again.”

Thorin sighed long and hard. He squeezed his eyes closed, feeling exhausted and spent and overwhelmed with all that had happened. Gandalf noted the weariness in the king’s eyes, “I suggest we let him rest,” he said and got to his feet, ushering Balin and Oin out of the room.

Once alone, with only the comfort of his sleeping nephews, Thorin tried to sift through the millions of thoughts going through his burdened mind. He thought of all that had happened, all that he and his company had seen and what they had been through. From the moment they departed Bag End to their capture in goblin town to Mirkwood and Lake-town. He was overwhelmed by guilt over what he had done and said on this journey, especially concerning his nephews.

“My lads...” he said aloud, a deep sadness in his voice. “I can only hope you can forgive me.”

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

When Kili opened his eyes, he expected to find himself in mahal’s halls. But as the world came into focus, the first thing he saw was Thorin, staring down at him.

“Uncle…” he said softly, wincing as he felt the sharp pain in his chest as he inhaled. “I’m alive?”

“Yes, you’re alright,” Thorin said. His uncle was sitting at his bedside, dressed in a long blue tunic, watching him anxiously. Thorin let out a long breath, “we’ve been recovering in a human estate not far from the mountain. How do you feel?”

Kili dwelled on that question for a moment. “I’m tired,” he said softly. “But I’ve been sleeping forever, haven’t I?”

“It seemed that way to me, Nephew,” Thorin said, his voice a little heavy with emotion. “But you need your rest.”

Kili winced and took in another breath, feeling frustrated when he couldn’t quite get a full breath without crushing pain. He tried again and furrowed his brow. 

“Take it easy, Kili,” Thorin said. “Slow, breaths. Your lung is still weak.”

Kili closed his eyes and tried a third time, finally getting enough oxygen to feel some relief. He kept his eyes closed for a few seconds while he exhaled. He tried to think. The battle… “Fili…” he rasped, his eyes opening wide as he remembered, “My brother… he’s gone, isn’t he?” Kili felt the tears spring to his eyes as he remembered, “He’s gone! How could I have survived and he… I wanted to go with him!” Kili gasped out a sob as he thought about his brother. “I still want to go with him…”

“Kili,” Thorin said, slowly getting to his feet with a slight wince of his own. “Kili, look.” Thorin moved aside, and as Kili slowly moved his head to the side, he gasped in surprise. There, beyond Thorin’s empty bed, was Fili, laying still in a bed of his own.

“Fili!” Kili breathed loudly, struggling to lift his head, tears now freely falling from his eyes, and he felt a profound sense of relief. Fili was alive!

“Stop, Kili,” Thorin said. “He’s alive. But he isn’t well. He still has a fight ahead.” Kili turned his attention to Thorin, his brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of the words,

“What do you mean?” he asked, swallowing a bit in anticipation. Thorin hesitated a bit as if preparing himself to deliver the news. “Uncle?” Kili prompted, searching his uncle’s face for answers.

“His back is broken, Kili,” Thorin said at long last. “He has quite a few other injuries, but that’s the worst. He hasn’t been conscious at all, so we don’t know how bad it is just yet, but… Oin doesn’t think he’ll be able to walk.” 

Kili gasped a bit as that news hit him like a stampede. He felt utterly devastated and physically hurt as if he could physically feel the pain his brother might go through when he discovered this news. He lay there gawking a bit at his uncle before somehow finding the words to talk again, “Will… will he be able to walk later?”

“Oin doesn’t know,” Thorin said grimly. “His leg is broken, so he can’t walk now anyway, but… only time will tell, Nephew. Oin thinks that if Fili gets the care, he needs, and his back heals properly, it’s possible he’ll be able to walk again, but… at this point, we just don’t know.”

Kili didn’t have to be told about the implications of that. A crippled dwarf who could no longer fight had little to look forward in life and Kili feared how his brother would take this news.

“Take me to him,” he said after a while. “I need to see him.” Thorin shook his head, “No, Kili, you were injured severely as well, you very nearly died. You could make it worse if you start moving around.”

“I don’t care,” Kili said firmly. “I need to see him.” He tried to sit up but was overcome with pain. He winced hard and nearly blacked out again from the pain. But he bit down the pain and tried to swing his legs over the bed and get up, but was blocked by Thorin who was there in a second, pushing his nephew back down. Kili moaned both in pain and in frustration.

“You need to recover,” Thorin said. Just as he said this, Balin entered the room, followed by Oin.

“Ah, it’s good to see you awake, Laddie,” Balin said as he moved over to Thorin while Oin busied himself with changing Fili’s bandages, “How do you feel?”

Kili ignored Balin. He only had eyes for his brother. He reached his hand out as he watched Oin change Fili’s bandages, but his brother was so far away. “Fili…” he murmured, voice cracking and hand outstretched as if he could reach his brother from here. He gasped a bit, feeling stressed and anxious.

Oin hurried over at that moment, “Lad, you are going to work yourself into a frenzy,” he warned. “You need to relax!”

But Kili was beside himself. He ignored everyone in the room and kept trying to get up. Thorin pushed him back down every time, but he attempted just the same. He felt his heart racing and panic surge through him a little more each time. “Please!” he gasped. “Please let me see him! I need to see him!” He felt a crushing pain in his chest and quickly started to cough and cough. 

“Kili!” Thorin exclaimed in panic as his youngest nephew quickly descended into a coughing fit, coughing and coughing until he began to feel the taste of copper in his mouth and spat out blood. But his coughs and moans continued to come out in garbled form as he continued to try to get to Fili, feebly struggling against hands that came forward to restrain him.

“He’s broken through his stitches,” Oin said, trying to break through the layers of bandaging he’d placed over most of Kili’s torso.

“Thorin, help me,” Balin said as he moved over to Thorin’s empty bed. “The lad isn’t going to settle down until he sees his brother.”

Thorin couldn’t take his eyes off of his thrashing nephew, but eventually, he pulled himself together and nodded, moving over to help the old dwarf. Together, the dwarves pulled the bed out of the way and then they all gently began to push Kili’s bed, slowly, one inch at a time, until his bed connected with Fili’s and he was at least beside his brother again.

Kili instantly began to relax as soon as he came into contact with Fili’s lifeless form. He fell back in bed, coughing as Thorin hurried to the head of his bed and began to dab his mouth with a cloth, wiping up the clots of blood he’d spat up. 

Kili moaned as the pain now filled all of his senses. He kept his eyes on Fili, but he could feel Oin quickly unraveling his bandaging. His coughing slowly subsided, but the pain was overwhelming. He dared to take his eyes off of his brother to see what the old healer was doing, and he found his torso covered in blood. “What…” he moaned.

“You had a broken rib that pierced through your lung, Lad,” Oin said as Balin hurried over with a basin full of water and some fresh bandages. “I had to operate on you to fix it. Not to mention this stab wound here, you lost a lot of blood.”

Kili gritted his teeth as Oin cleaned all the blood and tried to examine the broken stitches on the upper left side of his chest. The popped stitches now revealed a large wound over his rib where Oin had operated.

“Restrain him,” he said to Thorin and Balin. “I need to restitch the lung.” Kili instantly felt panicked again as Thorin bent over him to grip his arms and Balin moved to get his legs. Thorin lifted Kili’s head for a moment so that Oin could help him drink some kind of concoction, before positioning himself at Kili’s side, preparing to operate.

“Lad, you need to calm down,” Oin warned. “It’ll only be worse if you don’t. I gave you something for the pain; we’ll wait a few minutes for it to take hold.” Kili wanted to scream his frustration at the healer. Calm down? His brother was paralyzed, and he couldn’t breathe, how could he just calm down?

But Thorin pressed his forehead to Kili’s, still holding his arms tight and whispered to him, “Kili focus on me,” he said, his voice instantly soothing and Kili couldn’t help but relax a little. “It’s going to be okay, Nephew, just relax.” Kili swallowed a lump forming in his throat, and he closed his eyes, trying his best to focus on his uncle’s voice. 

But he tensed up immediately when Oin began to work on his lung, and the pain caused him to cry out. He squirmed to try to get away from it but was securely restrained by Thorin and Balin. His eyes sprang open, and he gave another cry followed by the pathetic whines and whimpers that caused Thorin to wince, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to keep his composure.

But finally, it was over. Oin cleaned the wound and restitched and rebandaged it before he nodded and Thorin and Balin released their vice-like grips on their young kin.

“Now I want you to relax,” Oin said, repeating what he had said before, in a firm, scolding tone. “These stitches are very fragile, and this can’t keep happening.”

Kili ignored Oin and turned his attention to the reason he’d gotten so upset in the first place. Fili lay motionless in bed to Kili’s right. “Fili…” he whimpered, reaching for his brother’s hand. He gazed over Fili’s body, taking everything in for the first time. Fili looked terrible. Kili could see the bandages wrapped around his brother’s bare waist; the blankets covered his lower body, all except his right leg which was jutting out of the sheets as it was wrapped in a thick cast. 

And Fili was pale; as pale as death and so still. Even Kili’s ordeal had failed to wake him, and except for the steady yet shallow rise and fall of his chest, he looked void of any life. Kili felt tears spring to his eyes again as he gripped Fili’s hand tight. “Fili…” he urged, his voice husky with emotion. “Come on, wake up…”

But Fili remained in a deep sleep. No amount of pleading on Kili’s part did any good. The brown-haired dwarf turned his head back to Thorin who had moved his bed back beside Kili’s on the left and was now sitting on it, wincing as he held his side while he conversed quietly to Balin and Oin. Kili swallowed, taking note that not even his uncle had escaped harm in this battle.

“Uncle…” Kili said he’d suddenly begun to feel very tired and sluggish, no doubt the effects of Oin’s pain draught. “... Erebor?”

“Erebor is safe,” Thorin assured him. “Everyone is safe. You and your brother fought valiantly…” Thorin trailed off, and a strange look came over his face. Guilt? Remorse? Kili furrowed his brow as his mind began to feel a bit hazy.

Kili was about to respond, feeling happy that their quest, though it had cost them all so dearly, had finally proved to have been a success. Erebor, the kingdom that once seemed like only a dream, had finally been retaken. 

The victory felt so hollow, however. He and Fili had always talked about how their lives would change in Erebor. Thorin had even told them of his own childhood, growing up in this land and now Fili and Kili had the chance to live here too. But how could it be enjoyable without his brother?

Just then, their quiet moment was interrupted when the door suddenly burst open, and the master of Lake-town sauntered in followed by what looked like two young girls. Kili found himself feeling slightly disappointed to see the greedy master had survived Smaug’s attack.

“Ah, your majesty, so good to see up and about,” the rather large man said brightly, “I trust you find the accommodations to your liking?”

“It is quite opulent considering the conditions in which we found your town when we arrived. And the conditions it’s in now,” Thorin growled. Kili’s heart rejoiced inwardly at his uncle’s words. The greed of the dragon sickness which had gripped Thorin seemed to have left him.

“Ah yes, well as I said before, it’s a little gift I had made for myself some time ago,” the master said. “Ruling people can be trying, and sometimes it’s good to get away for a while.”

Kili almost felt sick to his stomach at that. He began to get the impression that the master had come here with some ulterior motive.

“Now then, housing and feeding your people has been a privilege of course,” the master began. “After all, how could we turn away such brave dwarves? But I’m sure you understand that my servants here must be cared for and that doesn’t come cheap in these parts. But I assured my servants that they would not go hungry. The King under the mountain would be happy to pay for his and his kins accommodations here, after all, he’s recently come into quite a bit of gold. I know we agreed on a price per bed earlier, but you see I need that money to help the poor people of Lake-town. I need a little more to ensure my households is cared for.”

Servants… Kili glanced at the two girls who stood beside his bed, standing in the Lakeman’s shadow, both silently gazing at the floor. They looked like children. But… wait… Kili squinted a bit at the taller of the two. She had brilliant red hair, but Kili’s eyes narrowed in on her large pointed ears. They weren’t children at all.

“... Hobbit?” Kili gasped, words becoming hard to form as he struggled to keep conscious. The girl heard him and lifted her gaze towards him, her large green eyes looking him over with an expression of compassion, but also, curiosity.

“Do you know me?” the girl asked, arching a brow at him. “Is there something I could get for you, Master Dwarf?”

“No, I don’t know you…” Kili said as he started to fade, “I’m… familiar with hobbits… Bilbo Baggins…” And with that, Kili gave in to the darkness and fell asleep to the sounds of the Lake-town master haggling over how much gold it would take to house them all here.


	5. Chapter 5

Kili awoke some hours later to voices. He blinked and moved his head to his side to see Thorin's bed vacant. His uncle was nowhere to be seen. But Kili could hear his uncle's deep voice coming from outside the opened doorway. He tried to listen to the other sounds, but couldn't decipher them.

But his curiosity was forgotten when Fili suddenly groaned beside him. Kili gasped, quickly scrambling to roll over onto his side so he could face his brother, ignoring the gripping pain that came from the movement.

"Fili…" Kili gasped, reaching to take his brother's hand as he stared down into his brother's face. But the blonde dwarf remained silent. Kili whimpered and moved to put his hand on Fili's chest, giving him a gentle nudge. "Come on, wake up." 

Maybe it had been his imagination. Kili let out a long sigh and put his head on Fili's shoulder, careful not to hurt him as he curled in close to his brother and watched the barely noticeable rise and fall of his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he pleaded silently for his brother to move, grasping his hand tight.

And then Kili felt it. A faint squeeze on his hand. He lifted his head; breath hitched in his throat. The squeeze came again, and this time, Kili was certain. "Uncle!" he shouted. "Uncle! hurry!"

Thorin tore into the room at lightning speeds at his nephew's call and appeared on Fili's other side in seconds, peering over both of his nephews, "What is it, Kili?" he asked.

"He moved," Kili said in a frightened high pitched voice. "I felt him… and before, I heard him groan."

"Kili…" Thorin said, wearily.

"No, Uncle, I felt him move," Kili insisted, fixing Thorin with an intense gaze. "I didn't imagine it."

And then, as Kili clung to hope, Fili moaned again and this time, Thorin's eyes widened as he focused his attention on his eldest nephew. "Fili…" he breathed with such raw emotion that Kili blinked, startled. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Fili's eyes slowly fluttered open. He stared blankly at nothing for a moment, before noticing his brother and uncle on either side of him. He arched a brow in confusion as he opened his mouth to try to say something, his voice raw from disuse.

"Ki…" he rasped. "Unc…" He swallowed a bit, frustration on his face.

"It's alright, Nephew, you're alright," Thorin said gently as he and Kili waited patiently for Fili to find his voice.

He struggled for a moment before finally whispering, "Where am I?"

"You're in an estate on Long Lake," Thorin explained. "We were in battle, do you remember that?"

Fili thought for a moment and nodded, "The pale orc," he said, closing his eyes briefly. "He ambushed me. I tried to get back to you, but I was surrounded. I tried to fight him…" He swallowed, focusing on Kili. "Brother, get off of me, I'm not going anywhere."

"What?" Kili asked, puzzled.

"I don't feel well, and I don't plan on going anywhere, so you don't have to hold me down."

Kili's face fell as he realized what Fili was getting at. He glanced at Thorin, not quite sure how to respond.

"Fili, listen to me," Thorin said slowly, gently turning Fili's face, so the golden-haired dwarf was facing him. "When Azog dropped you, you were hurt badly by the fall."

"What do you mean?" Fili asked, furrowing his brow, trying to make sense of everything. His blue eyes searched Thorin's face for answers.

"You broke your leg… and your back." Thorin said, finally. Fili blinked and shook his head.

"No," he corrected as if he knew Thorin had somehow gotten it wrong. "No, I'm fine, I'll be fine, just tell Kili to stop holding me down," he insisted, shaking his head as if what Thorin said was simply impossible.

"Fili…" Kili mouthed, tears spilling down his cheeks. "It's going to be okay, Oin said it might only be temporary."

"What?" Fili demanded, turning to face Kili. "What's temporary? I can't walk? Is that what you're implying, Kili, because you're wrong. That's not it at all. I'll show you."

It was clear Fili was terrified, but he was determined that what his uncle and brother were telling him could not be true. He grunted as he tried to lift himself up. His breath hitched in his mouth, and his face took on a reddish hue as he gritted his teeth from the effort of pulling himself up onto his elbows. It was then that he got a good look at himself, his broken leg was still in a cast, jutting out from the blankets and the cloth back brace wrapped around his lower torso like a vice. He stared at his own mangled body in shock and Kili could see one lone tear trickle down the side of his face as his efforts to get his legs to move went in vain.

Fili fell back onto his pillow, putting his hands over his eyes as if trying to shut the world out. And that is how he stayed, only whimpering every so often and sniffling or gasping out a sob. Kili put a hand on his brother's shoulder, his heart breaking at Fili's pain. Fili didn't even acknowledge Kili's touch. 

Thorin studied his nephew and heir for a few minutes, and then he did something Kili hadn't seen him do since they were barely old enough to walk. He bent over and kissed Fili on the top of his head, pressing his face against the mass of golden hair and squeezing his eyes shut for a few precious seconds. Kili looked on sadly from his own bed.

"Let him rest," Thorin said softly, his voice a bit husky as he got up and moved over to Kili's bedside. 

Kili shook his head, "But he needs me," he protested, reluctantly rolling back onto his own pillow with a wince.

"He needs some time," Thorin said sadly. "I need to go talk to Gandalf, are you feeling hungry?"

Kili thought. He was starving now that he thought about it. But he had trouble focusing on anything other than his brother. He chanced a glance back at Fili who still had his arms over his eyes, but the deep breathing told Kili he had fallen asleep again.

"I'll go see if someone will bring you some soup and some tea," Thorin said. "You need to give yourself a chance to recover too."

"Uncle…" Kili said. "What are we going to do if…" he swallowed, finding it hard to continue his sentence.

"Rest, Kili," Thorin implored, pulling Kili's blanket up and adjusting his pillow a bit before turning and stalking out the door.

Kili let the tears flow freely at that point. It took every ounce of control he had not to want to try to talk to Fili. Fili was always the one he turned to, after all, and now Fili was hurting, and there was nothing he could do. Kili began to wish they had never gone out on this journey. It wasn't what he was expecting. He'd followed his uncle to Erebor and then he had been forced to watch while Thorin's will turned to madness and his uncle seemed to slip further and further away from him. Kili was still a little weary of Thorin, concerned the sickness could return. What would happen, then? With Thorin battling this dragon sickness and Fili dealing with such a crippling injury, where did that leave Kili?

Kili didn't hear the door open. "Milord?" came a soft voice. Kili blinked and looked over to see the young red-haired maiden standing in the doorway with a tray bearing a steaming bowl and a mug.

"Come in," Kili murmured. He remembered the hobbit from before. He watched as she came in and set the tray on a nearby table, pulling it over to Kili's bedside.

"Your father wanted me to bring you this," the girl said. "Are you in a mind to eat?"

"He's not my father," Kili corrected quickly before feeling a pang of regret for being so quick to correct her. After all, would it be so bad if others thought Thorin was his father? "He's my uncle," he said after a moment, giving her a sheepish smile.

"Oh," the girl said. She bent over and helped Kili to a sitting position. He winced as his wounds protested the movement, but it felt good to be able to sit up. She brought the bowl over and placed it in his lap, he glanced down at it, basking in the steam that heated his face.

"It's just some chicken broth," the young hobbit explained as she pulled up a seat and settled beside him. "Your stomach will be sensitive for a while."

Kili took a sip and smiled again, "It's good," he said, glancing at the girl and looking her over. She was very pretty, but there was a sadness behind her big green eyes. She was dressed in a simple white maiden's gown, and her hair was bright reddish-orange and curly, the ringlets bouncing about her shoulders when she moved. She had her hair slightly pulled back with a simple white hair wrap. 

"Who are you?" Kili asked. "I wasn't aware there were any hobbits in Lake-town."

"I'm the only one," the girl explained. "My name is Asphodel. I'm a servant of the master's house."

Kili sipped his soup and pondered that information for a moment. He had a hard time believing anyone would willingly serve that vile, greedy human, but he didn't feel he should pry into her life. He glanced up at her, "I am familiar with hobbits," he said, thinking about their burglar. "Master Baggins has traveled with us since we met him at his home in the shire. I've found them to be kind and courageous, with an unwavering sense of honor and friendship. Though I have to say, I've never seen one quite as pretty as you."

Asphodel smiled and glanced down at her hands, "You are generous with your compliments, Milord," she said softly. "I'd like to meet this hobbit."

"He'll turn up sooner or later," Kili told her. "He's probably assisting Gandalf with something." He handed his empty bowl to her, and she set it aside before returning to his bedside. She seemed to look him over for a moment, and Kili felt himself blush when he remembered that he was bare-chested. He cleared his throat a little, 

"Have you lived here in Lake-town all your life?" he asked, feeling the need to fill a sudden awkward silence.

"Most of it, Milord," she said, keeping her gaze down at her hands. "I was born in the shire. Slave mongers captured Mother and me on a trip to Bree. We were sold to the master long ago."

"Where is your mother now?" Kili asked.

"She was just killed," Asphodel explained, sadly. "When Smaug attacked."

Kili sighed sadly, "I'm very sorry," he said. He was overcome with an immense sense of guilt at hearing this. After all, it was his company that had brought the dragon upon this peaceful town. 

They sat in silence for a little while longer before Asphodel stood up, "I must get back to my chores," she said. "I'll come to check on you and your brother later." Kili nodded and watched as she gathered his empty bowl and quickly left the room. Kili watched the door for a moment, lost in thought. The little hobbit had piqued his interest; something told him she had a story to tell. But she wasn't only one thing that occupied his thoughts. He turned a solemn glance towards Fili who slept beside him. He felt an immeasurable feeling of weight on his shoulders as he reached over and took Fili's hand in his. This war and the whole journey has taken a toll on its youngest member. Not only was he faced with the thought that his brother may never walk again, but he had to live with the guilt that his company had come to reclaim their homeland, something they had finally achieved, but it seemed that they had left a trail of death and misery in their wake. How would they begin to make things right in this land?

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Erebor was looking better and better every day. The fallen had been collected and given a proper burial, and the dwarves had begun work on clearing out any evidence of the dragon. Soon, it would be as if Smaug had never come. 

But even with this progress and the promise of the dawn of a new age of prosperity for his people, Thorin felt solemn. His mind turned to the fallen. So many dwarves lay dead before the gates of Erebor, the great battle against evil had cost him in the blood of his kin. And what pained him the most is that not long ago, he couldn't be bothered with the plight of his people. All he cared for was the gold and the arkenstone. It was worth more to him than blood, and it had nearly cost him the two who should have come first before even Erebor itself.

So it was with these thoughts that Thorin stood before the gates of Erebor, watching as rocks and debris were cleared away. He glanced to his side to Bilbo, who watched the progress as well, "If you don't mind, I've decided to stay here until spring," Bilbo was saying. "It's a long journey back to the shire, and I'd hate to pass over the misty mountains in winter."

"You're welcomed to stay as long as you like," Thorin told him sincerely. "You've been an enormous help to me, and my kin and this quest would have failed many times over if it had not been for you. I owe you an apology for what was said against you in the past."

Bilbo merely waved him off casually, "Just glad I could be of service," he said as they watched. A pause passed between them before Bilbo glanced at Thorin, "How… how are Fili and Kili?" he asked cautiously.

Thorin grimaced, "Kili is on the mend," he said. "Oin took out his stitches a few days ago, and his wounds are healing well. But he seems to have developed a breathing condition. Oin doesn't know if it will be permanent or not." Thorin paused as his thoughts turned to Fili. Bilbo waited patiently, a frown crossing his face.

"And Fili?" Bilbo prompted after too long of a silence.

"His wounds are healing as well," Thorin responded more solemnly. "But he still can't walk. Oin is optimistic that once his back fully heals, he'll regain use of his legs, but it will be a slow process, and even then, there are no guarantees."

"I've meant to pay them a visit," Bilbo said. "But Gandalf and I have been helping out here, and I haven't had the chance to go to the mansion."

"I'm sure they would welcome your company. They're both… not so well."

"I thought you said they were healing."

"Yes… physically," Thorin sighed. "It's emotional wounds that concern me. It makes me doubt whether it was a good idea to bring them along on this quest in the first place. We've all been through our share of war and death, but this was their first, and I fear for them. Especially Fili, I fear his state of mind if his back doesn't heal."

At that point, Gandalf walked up with Balin, "Word has been sent out far and wide," Balin said in a cheerful yet guarded tone. "Soon, more of our kin will arrive, and we will rebuild what we once had."

Thorin nodded and frowned, looking at Gandalf. He was almost afraid to ask, but he did so anyway. "The arkenstone…" he said cautiously. "Where is it?"

Gandalf frowned as well as if trying to decide his answer. After a while, he reached into his pocket and produced the gloriously glowing stone. The sight mesmerized Thorin, and for a while, he couldn't take his eyes off of it. There it was, in the hands of the wizard — the emblem of his people, the jewel of his grandfather. Thorin's thoughts suddenly turned dark, and he began to think of the betrayal- how this stone came to be in the hands of the wizard when it belonged to him! He glanced at Bilbo with a sudden feeling of contempt.

"Thorin?" Gandalf said cautiously, the old wizard looking down at him from his height with a knowing look on his face. "What becomes of this jewel?"

"It belongs to the king of Erebor," Thorin said with a sneer, he felt the darkness slowly creeping back into his heart, "It belongs to me and me alone."

"Thorin…" Balin said wearily, and Thorin noted the look of fear in his old friend's eyes, and he quickly turned away, as if the sight of the arkenstone caused him physical pain. He closed his eyes tight and covered them with a hand, trying to fight through the darkness that threatened to plague him once more. "... take it away," he gasped softly. "Just take it away. I don't care what you do with it; I can't bear to look at it again."

Thorin stayed like that, locked in his own mind for a long moment until he felt a hand on his arm. He dared to look up, afraid of seeing that cursed jewel again. But he met with the eyes of Balin, his dear friend. Gandalf and Bilbo stood on either side of the old dwarf, all watching with concern.

"Perhaps we should take steps that it never plagues you again," Balin said. "It was the bane of your grandfather's reign, Thorin, and it nearly destroyed you."

Thorin nodded, "Yes, it's for the best," he said, his voice a little husky. He cleared his throat a little, composing himself, "What of Erebor?" he asked, needing to change the subject. "How is it progressing?"

"We've given the fallen a proper burial," Balin said. "And we've cleared much of the debris from the main palace; it's ready to be inhabited again. The rest of the mountain will take time, but we're nearly finished repairing the front gate."

"Good," Thorin said with a nod. "Good. I'm happy to hear it."

"Which brings to mind another matter," Gandalf spoke up in a slightly lighter tone. "Your coronation, Thorin." Thorin sighed. He glanced back at the gate of Erebor with a bit of weariness and doubt. "I'd rather wait until my nephews have fully healed," he said. "I want them both at my side."

"They will be," Gandalf said. "But you must be their king now. It's essential that the dwarves establish themselves in this stronghold sooner rather than later."

Thorin glanced at Gandalf with concern, "Why?" he asked. "We have our kingdom back, dwarves will return, now is the time to breathe and let the dust settle."

"Thorin, there is a reason why I was so eager to help you with this quest," Gandalf said with a sense of warning in his voice. "And it wasn't only to help you reclaim your homeland. There are darker forces at work right now. Darker even than Azog, the defiler. And sooner or later, they will turn their eyes towards Erebor, not just for the treasure, but for its position. You must rebuild quickly, and you must be prepared to defend it."

Thorin craned his head to look at the wise wizard's face, and what he saw there was seriousness and foreboding. He swallowed a bit as he thought of what Gandalf could mean.

"Very well," he said. "When the repairs are complete, and when the men of Lake-town have rebuilt Dale, I will set a date for the coronation. And we will begin to fortify our kingdom. But until then, I'm going to see to Fili and Kili's full recovery… I should have never allowed them to be so grievously injured in the first place."

"Thorin, you weren't yourself," Balin offered. "And it is war; there are few who come out of it unscathed."

"I'm going to go see them," Thorin growled, in a tone that clearly said he was done with this conversation, as he turned and began walking towards the lake. Bilbo hurried after him, "I'd like to come along if you don't mind," he said. "I'd like to see the lads too." Thorin nodded and kept walking.

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Sometime in the night, Kili was awakened to moans and whimpers and gasps. "Kili…" Kili woke up and sat up, glancing around the room, at first forgetting where he was. "Kili…" the voice came again, desperately.

Kili glanced to his side to see his brother squirming about in the dark, whimpering. He winced as he rolled onto his side and grasped Fili's hand, placing his other hand on his brother's chest, trying to calm him, "Fili, what is it?" he asked with concern.

"I can't move!" Fili gasped, his chest rising and contracting in panic. "Kili help! I can't move! I can't walk! Something's holding me down; I can't feel anything!"

Kili swallowed as he watched his brother's panic build-up, his breathing became labored, as his head moved back and forth as he desperately tried to get his legs to cooperate. Kili felt as if his heart had suddenly been shattered as he just lay there, holding Fili. He didn't know what to do, so he scooted closer and pulled his brother into his arms, and held on to the blonde dwarf's trembling body, as tight as he could, careful not to aggravate his injuries. Or his own.

"Shh…" he said, rubbing Fili's back. "It's okay; it's okay…" as reality began to set in, Fili descended into sobs, his body trembling as he buried his face against Kili.

Kili felt like the big brother now. He couldn't bear to see Fili suffer like this.

"I am no dwarf…" Fili sobbed, his voice muffled a bit. "I can't live this way."

"It's only temporary," Kili assured him, though he knew that was far from certain at this point. But he felt it was important for Fili to keep his hopes up. "You'll heal. Back breaks take a long time to heal, but you'll see, you'll be on your feet again in no time."

"Are you sure?" Fili gasped, his breath hitched in his throat.

"Yes, Oin told me that once it heals, you'll be able to walk again," Kili repeated. "I heard him say it with my own ears. So relax, everything's going to be okay, and I'm going to take care of you."

Fili sniffed and gazed up, eyes shining in the moonlight coming in through the window, "you will?" Fili asked, hopefully. "You promise?"

"Of course I will," Kili assured him. "You're my brother; I love you."

Fili seemed a bit more assured at that, and he fell silent, breath still hitching a bit. Kili waited until he was sure his brother had gone back to sleep before he rolled back into his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. He felt warm tears slide down his own face as he lay there, in the stillness of the night, hoping and pleading to Mahal that Fili would indeed get better.

It was a very long night from there. Fili woke up a few times, and every time he discovered he was paralyzed, he panicked. Kili stayed beside him all night, holding him and reassuring him. 

The whole thing was emotionally trying. Kili had never seen his brother so broken and so frightened.

The next morning, Kili's eyes burned from lack of sleep. He sat up quickly when Thorin came into the room to check on them, rubbing his eyes, "Uncle…" he said, his voice shaking from fatigue and emotion.

"Kili, haven't you slept?" Thorin asked, looking concerned as he came over to his nephew's bedside. Kili only responded by bursting into tears. Thorin quickly came forward and pulled his distraught young nephew into his arms, letting him cry against him.

"It's alright, Lad. It's going to be alright," Thorin said softly, but Kili just shook his head, 

"No, it's not," Kili lamented. He told Thorin about the rough night Fili had had. "He's so scared," Kili sobbed, "Uncle, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Thorin said honestly. "He's suffering, Kili and not just from his injuries. It's the war."

Kili swallowed as his thoughts turned towards the battle he had endured. He felt the fear rush back into him as he remembered fighting for his life. He had seen death on a massive scale; he'd seen dwarves and elves and men die before the gates of Erebor.

And the one thing that had plagued him and haunted his dreams was seeing his brother's broken body drop in front of him. He had heard Azog from up above him, and he heard Fili cry out in pain and shout his final words to Thorin. But all he could do was watch. And now, as he dwelled on that scene, he began to feel guilty. Why had he just stood there while Azog hurt his brother? Why hadn't he done everything he could to get to him? Maybe he could have prevented this.

"I'm not cut out to be a warrior," he lamented. "Or a brother…"

"No, Kili, you can't start thinking that," Thorin said, rubbing his nephew's back soothingly as Kili clung to his uncle like a small frightened child. "You two were not fully prepared for the horrors of war. It was your first battle, and you are both young. This… I am to blame for this."

Kili gazed up at Thorin, trying not to allow the tears forming in his eyes to spill. Thorin met his eyes, and Kili could see the immense guilt and sorrow and weariness in those eyes.

"I shouldn't have taken you two with me," he said. "You were far too young to endure this. I was selfish for wanting you by my side, and I nearly lost you both."

"No, Uncle…" Kili protested, but Thorin held up a hand before continuing. 

"And I owe you an apology. Not only for bringing you here and exposing you to battle before your time, but also for ... for my actions."

Kili cringed at the reminder of Thorin's dragon sickness. It was heart-wrenching to see his uncle- his hero- descend further into the darkness of his own mind. He remembered the pain he felt at being left behind in Lake-town. It still hurt. And he was still shaken and afraid of the whole ordeal.

"It… it won't happen again, will it?" he asked fearfully. "You're better now, right?"

At that, Thorin only held his nephew tighter, "I swear on my life, I'll never let that cursed gold come between us again," he promised. "You two should have come first from the beginning."

There was a long pause as Kili dwelled on the promise Thorin was making. He still felt emotionally vulnerable about the whole ordeal, but Thorin was still his hero. He was upset at discovering his uncle wasn't as perfect as he had previously believed. That was the hardest thing about this whole quest. He had seen a part of Thorin that wasn't his uncle; it was as if a demon had taken over his body.

"I forgive you, Uncle," Kili said, let out a breath, and Kili felt his uncle's body relax a bit at his words. The two held each other for a while longer, and Kili couldn't keep the tears spilling from his eyes this time. He choked on a sob, and Thorin only held him tighter, rubbing his back and assuring him.

Kili was still plagued with the horrors of battle, even if he felt safe with Thorin there with him. He wondered then if he could ever recover from it all. He felt changed forever from the young dwarf he was at the start of this journey.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

A number of days passed and Kili continued to improve day after day. Fili, however, remained paralyzed and demoralized. His wounds healed, but his broken back remained swollen.

Bilbo sighed as he and Thorin watched Oin examine the golden haired dwarf who lay on his belly, his face buried in his pillow. The hobbit could make out the tips of his ear, protruding through his hair and by the shade of red contrast to the blonde hair, it was clear Fili was feeling frustrated and embarrassed.

“How long before the swelling goes down?” Kili asked for what may have been the fifth time that morning. The youngest prince sat up in his bed, wearing a simple white sleeping tunic and a pair of night trousers, his unkempt dark hair dancing about his face as he kept glancing from Oin to Thorin, desperate for some kind of hope.

“We don’t know, Kili,” Thorin responded calmly, though Bilbo could sense the tension in his voice. “It will take a while longer.” Bilbo glanced at the king. Thorin was at a wits end, the intuitive hobbit could see it on his stoic face, but he would not show as much to his nephew. Kili was scared and frustrated, and he had loyally remained at his brother’s side through this whole venture, though it clearly had taken it’s toll. 

“Why don’t you all just admit it,” Fili growled, his voice muffled by the pillow, though his tone was unfamiliar and hinted at warning. “Stop trying to pretend I’m ever going to get better when you know I won’t. Stop trying to reassure me when it’s all lies.” He shrugged Oin away and groaned as he rolled back over onto his back and glared across the room at all three of them. “I’m not something to be pitied. Why don’t you all just leave me alone.”

“Fili-” Kili started, moving to get out of his bed to move towards his brother, but Fili stopped him with a cold glare.

“Stop, Kili,” Fili growled. “I don’t want your comfort. I don’t need it. Just leave me alone. All of you! just leave!” and with that, he rolled onto his side, his back to them, his body trembling with silent sobs.

“Kili,” Bilbo stepped forward, sensing he might be useful in this instance. “You’ve been holed up in this room for days, why don’t we take a walk. That is if you feel up to it.”

Kili looked reluctant and Thorin glanced at Oin for approval. Oin nodded, “It’ll do you some good to be on your feet for a while, Lad,” he said. “Just be wary of your lung, don’t get worked up.” 

“I need to speak with Oin,” Thorin said softly, standing up and glancing in the direction of his eldest nephew. Bilbo thought he may have seen the king’s eyes glisten with unshed tears and he swallowed as he nodded his acknowledgement.

The hobbit led the young dwarf out into the hallway of the master’s home and down the stairs towards the kitchen. The display of wealth in this home had amazed Bilbo when he first saw it. In the shire, there was little need for wealth and to see the walls of this home lined with priceless paintings, crystal chandeliers dotting the ceiling, the floors lined with dark red carpeting throughout the home, and the spacious winding staircase spilling them out onto the marble foyer before the wood and glass doors with separated the main hall from the kitchen was really quite impressive- and disconcerting.

When they entered the kitchen, they found Asphodel stooped over the wood burning stove, while Brenna the gnome sat at the table, hemming trousers.

Bilbo had become acquainted with the master’s two house maids Asphodel and Brenna a few days ago when he arrived at the house to visit Fili and Kili. Though he had only seen glimpses of them, it was startling to suddenly run into another of his kinsfolk. Kili had told him about Asphodel, the young hobbit girl who had been his nurse while he healed. But he hadn’t mentioned Brenna.

Brenna was a bit more elusive than Asphodel and was rarely seen. She was shorter than a hobbit, with large round dwarf like ears and her dirty bare feet were small and slender, lacking the coat of hair a hobbit’s foot would have.

“Ah,” Bilbo greeted to the girls as he motioned for Kili to sit at the table. The dwarf did so, slumping down with a deep sorrowful sigh, “I wonder if I might request some tea for Kili here.”

“Yes, it’ll be right up,” Asphodel replied, glancing over her shoulder at the two of them.

“I don’t believe we’ve spoken much,” Bilbo said as he sat at the table between Kili and Brenna. The little gnome glanced up from her sewing, her round blue eyes searching them both quizzically. Kili offered a small smile in her direction.

“I was not given permission to socialize with the master’s guests,” Brenna said. “And I am no nurse, I am the master’s seamstress.”

“Ah well,” Bilbo said, feeling a bit awkward, but feeling the need to strike up a conversation, just for Kili’s benefit. The distant look on the youth’s face told Bilbo that he was still reeling over what his brother had said. “We won’t tell anyone if you socialize with us now.”

Kili let out a deflated sigh and Bilbo searched his mind for some kind of words of comfort. He bit his lip a bit. He felt he was being helpful to Thorin and his nephews by spending some time with Kili when it was clear the brunette would rather be by his brother’s side, despite Fili’s desire to be left alone. But he wasn’t quite sure that he knew how to handle this situation. He wasn’t an uncle, after all. He hadn’t played any part in Kili’s upbringing, but he had grown very close to the durin family in this journey and it was important to him that they all made it through this ordeal unscalved.

The room was bathed in an uncomfortable, awkward silence as Asphodel brought everyone tea cups and settled down at the table with them.

“How is your lung, Master Dwarf?” Asphodel asked, glancing at Kili and breaking the silence. “Can you breathe any better?”

“Aye…” Kili muttered quietly, not offering up much else in conversation. Bilbo’s heart lurched as he heard Kili sniffle a little as the dwarf suddenly became interested in staring at the wooden table under his hands.

Bilbo glanced at Asphodel, “Tell me, did you live in the shire?” he asked. It was really a burning question in the back of his mind since he had first heard of her. He didn’t know other hobbits left the Shire and he knew just about everyone in hobbiton. 

Asphodel nodded, “My parents had a farm on the outskirts of the shire, near the old forest.”

“And why aren’t you still there?” Bilbo asked curiously. He noted with some satisfaction that Kili had lifted his head a bit and had his attention on Asphodel, apparently interested in her circumstances. 

“My parents and I were captured by a band of human slave mongers while on holiday in Bree,” she explained, a sadness in her eyes. “We were sold into servitude when I was quite young.”

Bilbo felt sympathetic and somewhat disgusted at hearing this. Humans were responsible for removing this hobbit from the shire? And then forced her to work for them? How terribly cruel. A hobbit should not be separated from the shire but by their own free will, after all the shire was in their blood. It was something Bilbo had not stopped pining for since first he had stepped out his door. But to be robbed of it?

“You shouldn’t have to live like this,” Kili said sadly, his voice still quiet. “You shouldn’t have to work for this greedy human.”

“There’s little that can be done about it,” Brenna pointed out. “She’s learned to accept her lot in life, as have I. No use came of complaining about what fate has brought you.”

“And how about you?” Bilbo asked. “Where are you from? I don’t believe I have ever seen one of your race before.”

“We gnomes live in the frigid north of the forodwaiths ” Brenna said. “I too was captured by slave mongers otherwise that’s where I’d be right now.”

“I did not mean to pry,” Bilbo offered. “I am merely curious.”

“Do you often bother to get to know your servants?” Brenna asked. “I find it peculiar that one would bother to ‘socialize’ with ones whose only job it is to serve others.”

“We don’t have servants in the shire,” Bilbo replied. “We have no need for them.”

Brenna raised a brow as if in disbelief. She glanced at Kili, “And what about you, Master Dwarf? surely a prince must have servants.”

“No,” Kili replied. “We were in exile and we lived in a simple village. Me, Fili, Uncle, and Mother. Fili and I did the chores around the house.”

Brenna exchanged glances with Asphodel, both seemed surprised, “Will you have servants now that you have reclaimed your kingdom?” Asphodel asked.

Kili shrugged, “I’m not sure. I suppose so. I never felt I needed one.”

The room became quiet again. Bilbo sipped his tea. He felt troubled by this whole conversation. It was clear that servitude was all these girls had ever known and it concerned him that they seemed to have a very low opinion of themselves. He shuddered to think of how this human master treated them. He swallowed before glancing at the two of them.

“Tell me,” he said slowly. “Has your current master ever harmed you?”

Brenna and Asphodel glanced at one another in complete surprise, “why would you ask such a question?” Brenna asked incredulously.

Bilbo blinked at their surprise, “Is it out of place for me to ask? Surely the leader of a town like Lake-town wouldn’t hurt anyone who served him, would he?”

“Why would you care how a servant is treated?” Brenna asked.

“I’d like to know,” Kili said, his voice a little louder as he looked at Asphodel and Brenna. “Did he harm you?”

Asphodel suddenly looked a little uncomfortable, “he doesn’t reward disobedience,” she started slowly.

Brenna shot her a look, “Asphodel! it’s none of their business!” she hissed urgently, trying to silence her. Asphodel swallowed, looking nervous and anxious. She glanced around as if afraid someone was listening in on them.

Kili looked alarmed. He glanced at Bilbo, his eyes wide. Bilbo had a bad taste in his mouth about this. Something wasn’t right here. Suddenly, he felt as if he had stumbled upon something sinister. He felt as if he and Kili had walked in on a crime. It was clear Asphodel had something to say about this subject but that Brenna wanted to keep her silent.

“You can tell us,” Kili urged Asphodel. But the hobbit girl looked to her gnome sister and lowered her gaze, “I can't,” she said. “I… I had better finish the broth, the master will be expecting supper soon.” She quickly excused herself from the table, collecting the tea cups and hurrying back to the stove, turning her back to them.

“It’s not really any of your concern,” Brenna said before standing up and leaving the kitchen. Bilbo glanced at Kili and met the dwarf’s look of concern. Something told him they needed to find out what was happening here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and an asthma attack.

Fili lay in bed feeling as though he had come to the very depth of despair. He lay there, alone. He was alone because he had snapped at everyone and demanded they leave. He regretted that, but he meant every word. He felt angry, sad, and afraid all at once. 

_ Crippled... _ that word kept repeating in his mind, over and over. He was crippled. Who'd ever accept a crippled dwarf? much less a crippled prince... a crippled future king? His life as a dwarf was over. He'd never ride a pony again, never wield a blade, never fight in battle...  _ battle _ Fili swallowed at that word too. Memories of it still haunted him. The screams, the blood, the fear... he'd never imagine his first battle would have been like this. 

Just then, he heard the door creak open and he squeezed his eyes shut, immediately feeling hostile, "I want to be left alone," he muttered, keeping his eyes closed.

Regardless of his request, he heard the soft tap of shoes upon the wooden floor as someone neared his bedside. He sighed, "Kili..." he said, thinking his stubborn brother was going to ignore his request. He opened his eyes and was surprised when he saw one of the servant girls instead of his brother.

"Do you really wish to be left alone, Milord?" Brenna asked as she set a basin of water down on the small table beside his bed.

"Yes..." Fili said, laying back against his pillows. "What are you here for?"

"Master Oin wanted me to change your bandages," she said as she crossed the room to open one of the dressers and pull out a few piles of cloth bandages. “I’d rather be elsewhere too but servants must obey their masters.”

"I don't need them changed right now," Fili murmured, staring up at the ceiling. "I'd really prefer to be alone right now."

"Oh do you propose to do it yourself?" Brenna retorted as she brought the bandages over and set them down beside the water basin. "It would be quite a task, I'd imagine."

Fili arched his brow, startled at the gnome's boldness, "Look, I said I want to be alone and I meant it," he said, feeling annoyed.

"And what will they say when I allow your wounds to become infected?" Brenna asked calmly as she scooped him up under his shoulders and piled pillows under him so he could sit up. "Shall I say I left you because you wished to lie here and feel sorry for yourself?"

Fili looked at her incredulously, "You should learn when to hold your bold tongue," he growled. "You know nothing of my situation."

She pulled his blankets aside and Fili winced when he was forced to look upon his own broken body. He wore only his trousers which had had the leg sleeves removed so Oin could gain access to his broken leg which was still in a splint. He wore a cloth back brace around his lower torso and a bandage covering the wound he'd received after Azog had stabbed him. His body still bore scars though the bruises had all healed by now.

"I know that you have been with us for a number of weeks now and you have not moved from this bed," Brenna scolded as she unwrapped the bandage on his torso, revealing a mostly healed stab wound.

Fili looked at the gnome again, "Perhaps you haven't heard that I'm crippled," he informed her a matter of factly.

"Oh I've heard," Brenna said, rolling her eyes a bit. "Crippled but not dead. Will you remain here in this bed until you've rotted away?"

Fili looked away, feeling angry, yet ashamed. What right did this gnome have to say these things to him? He was a prince after all and she was only a servant. He'd just fought in a battle and what had she done? What did she know of hardships?

"You know nothing of this world, do you?" he said with an irritated snort. He recalled when his uncle had told him and Kili those words, back when they truly had no idea about the world and its horrors. Far back in the beginning of their quest when they were both innocent and hoping to get a good laugh and an adventure out of the quest. It seemed so long ago now.

Brenna glanced at Fili, fixing him with a cold stare, her bright blue eyes unwavering,"Oh don't I?" she said. "Tell me do you think life in Lake-town was pleasant and peaceful before you and your company came here and brought a dragon upon our heads? Do you think the men of Lake-town appreciated you sending death and fire our way as if we hadn't had our full share of hardships already? Do you think those of us who serve the greedy master live a life of ease wanting for naught while serving him his meals and washing his feet?"

"I only meant-"

"You only meant to tell me that because you've faced orc filth only once on the battlefield that you've suddenly become wiser that a wizard."

Fili bit his lip and stayed quiet. He watched as she replaced the bandages, trying to contemplate how to respond. But as he shuffled, meaning to sit up more, his legs refused to budge and he lay back in his pillows, feeling ashamed. "Are you finished then?" he mumbled without looking at her.

"Yes, Milord," Brenna answered, her tone softer now. Fili winced more at this and looked at her. She stared at his legs before realizing and quickly pulling his blankets back up.

"Forgive me..." she said, quickly gathering her supplies.

"They hardly look any different than what they did before," Fili told her. "Safe for the broken one, and I've had broken limbs before."

"I don't mean to stare."

"Perhaps if you stare hard enough, they might start to work again." If only it could be so simple. Fili's face flushed with embarrassment. What a sight he must be and was this to be his life from now on? To live as an object of pity? Something for others to stare at and wonder at? Fili blinked a few times, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. He felt so alone. There was no one in this world who could comfort him. There was only one thing to do now and he needed help doing it.

"Please send for my brother," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "Tell him to come quick."

"Yes, Milord," Brenna said, gathering her things and hurrying out of the room. Fili thought about her words. The short exchange they had had. She didn't know what she was talking about, he told himself. She was only a servant, she couldn't possibly know what he was going through. She had no right to speak to him in such a manner, did the master not teach his servants proper respect?

There was a little doubt inside his head. Some small part of him that had listened to her words more closely. She was trying to encourage him to live, to overcome his new handicap. But he couldn't do that. He wasn't a warrior and his life no longer had any meaning.

Fili heard the door open and close again and he opened his eyes as he saw Kili hurry over to his bedside. He drew in a breath as his brother took his hand and sat down beside him, "You wanted to see me?" Kili asked.

"Kili..." Fili began, feeling a strange sense of relief at seeing him. His brother looked well. He appeared outwardly to have recovered from his own injuries, he was dressed and there were no apparent bandages. Fili did note that his brother appeared a bit shriveled and a bit pale. "Have you been eating, Brother?"

"What?" Kili arched his brows in confusion. "You sent me here to ask me if I had eaten?"

"No. It's just, you seem thin. How are you feeling?"

"Worried," Kili admitted, his face scrunching up to reveal his emotional distress. "I've been worried about you, brother."

"I want to know about you," Fili explained. "How are your wounds?"

"Still a little hard to breathe, but Oin says I should make a complete recovery," Kili looked down at his brother, studying him, no doubt trying to figure out what Fili was thinking.

"I'm glad," Fili said, feeling the impending dread as he prepared to say what he'd sent Kili in here for. "I... I'm glad you'll be okay, Brother. I think... I think you'll be a great king someday."

Kili's eyes widened in fear as he stared at his brother in disbelief. "King? you're the heir, I don't want to be king."

"You'll have to be," Fili explained.

Now Kili's lip quivered, his voice wavering as he shook his head. "No, Fili. Oin says you'll be okay and even if your back doesn't recover, you'll be here."

"I don't want to go on this way," Fili said firmly. "A crippled dwarf? If I can't stand and fight my enemies, what kind of warrior am I? They won't approve. The people need a better heir than me. Someone like you."

"And what are you going to do then, lay here in bed while Uncle and I take care of Erebor?"

"No..." Fili trailed off, glancing up at Kili. His brother gasped as he realized what Fili was really trying to tell him.

"No... no you can't," Kili shook his head. "I won't hear of it, you won't..."

"It's my life," Fili said, "I can choose to end it if I wish."

"But you aren't dying!" Kili exclaimed, getting up from his chair and pacing in front of the bed. "You'll be fine! You don't need to walk, I'll carry you wherever you need to go."

Fili blinked away tears, "Kili, please," he said. "Don't you understand? I can't live like this. I don't want to be carted around Erebor like some piece of cargo. I want to die like a warrior."

"Why did you call me in here?" Kili demanded, glaring angrily at Fili. Fili noted his brother gasping ever so slightly for breath. "So you can tell me this?"

"I wanted to say my peace and to part with you in honor before..." Fili swallowed as he spotted his weapons lying in a chair across the room. "And I need your help."

Kili's eyes followed his brother's gaze to the weapons and turned to look at him incredulously, "Do you expect me to just pick up a blade and run you through like some orc filth?"

"No," Fili said. "I won't ask you to do it. I can do it myself. Just bring me the blade."

"No." Kili said firmly, crossing his arms across his chest. "If you want to kill yourself, why don't you just get up and do it yourself?"

"I can't!" Fili shouted. "Please Kili, I'm asking you as a brother, I can't live this way!"

"Yes you can," Kili shot back. "I won't..." Kili trailed away tried to take in a breath and suddenly couldn't. His expression went from alarm to fear as he attempted another one. His eyes dashed to Fili as his hands went to grip his chest.

"Kili?" Fili gasped as Kili began to wheeze and cough, trying desperately to take in a breath. He began to waver on his feet, sinking to his knees just out of Fili's reach.

"HELP!!" Fili shrieked as his rolled onto his side, trying desperately to reach his brother. He reached and reached and Kili crawled towards him, gasping. Their hands locked but then Kili fell onto his back, taking Fili with him.

Fili grunted as he was propelled out of bed and landed hard onto the ground. He cursed his legs as they refused to respond as he attempted to scramble towards his brother who was now writhing around on the floor, his chest spasming as he tried to take in air. Fili groaned as he dragged himself across the floor, finally reaching Kili.

By now, Kili made no sound at all. No more wheezing, he just stared up at his brother with fear in his eyes as his lips took on a blueish hue. "Kili..." Fili implored. "You have to breathe. Please just be calm brother, just breathe."

Kili tried to do as his brother instructed, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself. Tears streamed down his face, his lips shivering as he inhaled.

Finally, as he stared to fade, Kili managed a small, ragged breath. He closed his eyes as his body began to calm, the oxygen replenishing his deprived lungs. "That's it, Brother," Fili said, pressing his forehead against Kili's, holding his face in both hands. "Take another one." Kili whimpered as his chest rose again, slowly, and then out again.

The two brothers stayed like that for a long while, Fili closed his eyes, letting tears flow as his brother kept taking in air beneath him. Then Fili felt Kili's arms wrap around his waist and the younger brother let out a choked sob. Fili wept too, not bothering to hold back his sobs as he leaned against his brother and held onto him for dear life. This is what Thorin and Oin saw when they both rushed into the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Thorin watched as Oin finished examining his youngest nephew, “why did this happen?” he asked. It was very disheartening to see Kili back in bed after it had seemed his injuries were all behind him. His brunette nephew still wheezed as he breathed, though he looked to be in a very sour mood, grunting a bit as Oin put his ear trumpet against his chest.

“It seems his lungs were more damaged than we originally thought,” Oin said. “The lad’s got a touch of pneumonia, but I’m afraid these attacks may be the result of permanent lung damage.”

“Permanent?” Thorin repeated. “You mean he will continue to have these attacks?”

Oin nodded, “We caught the pneumonia early so with a bit of bed rest, he’ll recover, but he’ll be more susceptible to respiratory ailments from now on. He’ll need to take care not to get worked up, stress can bring on the attacks.”

Thorin pulled up a chair and sat in between his two nephews beds as Oin finished up with Kili. “I’ll send a servant in with some soup for the lads,” Oin suggested. “They both need to keep up their strength.”

Thorin watched as Oin left the room and turned to Kili who promptly rolled over on his side, “why don’t you ask Fili,” he grumbled.

Thorin turned to his eldest nephew who was watching the whole thing from his own bed. He gazed up at his uncle with what Thorin could only interpret as guilt, “What got him so upset?” Thorin asked.

“I’d rather not say,” Fili said, glancing down, avoiding Thorin's gaze. “I’d rather just move on.”

At that, Kili whirled back around in bed, glaring across the room at his brother with anger in his eyes that surprised Thorin, “You’d rather move on!” he gasped. “Are you afraid to tell Uncle what you were trying to make me do?”

“Kili, lay still,” Thorin warned, feeling a bit of a headache coming on as he tried to understand what was happening here. He had one crippled nephew and one nephew who couldn’t breathe, both with frayed nerves, hurt feelings, and seemingly hopeless outlooks on life.

“I don’t want to lie still,” Kili shot back, sitting up in bed, gripping his chest a bit as the effort got him a bit winded. “That’s what he has been doing. He’s been laying here feeling sorry for himself and now he wants me to kill him.”

“What!” Thorin started a bit, staring wide eyed at Fili in bewilderment. “Fili, is this what this is about?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Fili growled, his mood souring a bit at Kili’s words. “Kili, you don’t know anything.”

Thorin let out a long sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to calm his own nerves, “that’s enough, both of you,” he said firmly. He tried to sort out the turmoil going on here, the frustration at this situation that he felt threatened to overwhelm him. He slowly looked up, studying both his nephews carefully,

“Fili, you have been laying in this bed for over a month,” he began slowly. “I know you’ve been through so much and I know it’s going to be hard to move past this kind of… change in your life, but I cannot believe you would ask your brother to kill you.”

“It’s my life,” Fili shot back. “I’ll choose when to end it at my will. None of you know what this is like. You don’t know what it’s like to be faced with being a cripple for the rest of your life. I’m a dwarf warrior and if I can’t be a dwarf warrior anymore, what is the point in going on?”

Thorin shook his head, not wanting to accept what he was hearing. His heart broke for his nephew. He knew very well he would want the same thing if he were in Fili’s situation. But he would not accept the possibility of Fili’s death, not even by his own hand. What could he do? He felt desperate. His nephew needed to feel valuable again, to feel his own worth again.

“Fili…” he breathed in softly, trying to find words. But he was interrupted as the door suddenly opened and Balin strode in, along with Gloin. Both wore a sour expression.

“What is it now…” Thorin groaned, leaning back in his chair. The looks on his comrades faces told him they had some less than pleasant business to discuss. 

“We need to speak to you in private,” Balin began. “It’s about Erebor.”

“I don’t want to leave my nephews right now, Balin,” Thorin said. “Anything regarding Erebor can be said in their presence.”

“Well it has to do with the lads too,” Gloin said. “I’ve been going over the gold that we’ve been giving out and it’s going to take quite a lot to restore Erebor, Dale, and this region. Not to mention all the gold we’ll need to summon all our kin back to erebor. Thirteen dwarves isn’t enough to run a kingdom.”

“We have more than enough gold to cover any expenses we may have,” Thorin said with a shrug. Did Gloin not see that treasure horde? he thought to himself.

“Aye we do for now,” Gloin agreed. “But if we want the region to prosper again, it will take much of our treasure to do so. So we much use it wisely.”

“So what does this have to do with us?” Kili put in. He and Fili were both listening closely to the conversation, their previous grievances put on hold for now.

Balin sighed, “it has come to our attention that the master has been cheating us out of more gold than he asked for to keep them here,” he began. “And not just the lads, but you and some other wounded we’ve been housing here. We agreed to pay him per dwarf per night, but he’s somehow managed to swindle us out of five times that.”

Thorin felt a surge of anger at hearing this. How dare that vile human cheat him of his gold! For a brief moment, the dragon sickness threatened to return ten fold and he wanted to strangle the vile man’s neck. 

“Wait… you had to pay for us to stay here?” Kili asked, arching a brow, as this was the first time either nephew had heard of this.

“Aye, Lad,” Balin explained. “We’ve been thinking that it’s time we take our leave of the master. Oin thinks you are both strong enough to be transferred back to Erebor and the sooner we break ties with this… man, the better.”

“Wait…” Kili sat up a little more. “We can’t leave. The servants. Uncle, there is something going on with the servants.”

Thorin glanced at his nephew with curiosity, “what do you mean?”

“Well… Bilbo and I… we kind of suspect…” Kili fumbled with his words a bit, obviously trying to sound convincing. “The two girls who have been assisting us. Asphodel and Brenna. The hobbit and the gnome. We have reason to believe that the master has been mistreating them.”

Thorin sighed and exchanged glances with Balin. This was an aspect of things his nephews would not be used to. Servitude. After all, there had been no need for servants in the blue mountains since king and commoners all worked side by side to survive, “lads, servants are just something you are going to have to get used to,” he began. “We’ll probably have plenty when we get the kingdom running. Cooks, handmaidens, people of that sort.”

“I don’t need servants,” Kili said quickly. “But that’s beside the point. Shouldn’t the servants be here of their own free will? and shouldn’t they be treated kindly and properly cared for?”

“What evidence do you and Master Baggins have that there is any mistreatment going on here?” Balin asked. “The vile human is greedy and cowardly, but what he does with his servants isn’t any of our concern.”

Kili sighed in defeat and looked down at his hands. Thorin watched as he tried to search for an argument to use. “Not right…” he muttered, “shouldn’t be allowed.”

Thorin watched his nephew and sighed. This journey had matured Fili and Kili far more than their uncle would have liked. The things they’d seen, the dangers they’d faced, the pain and fear they’d suffered. But there were some things they were still innocent about and it reminded him that they still had more growing up to do.

“We’ll talk to the master about this gold thing,” Thorin said after a while, then put his hand on Kili’s shoulder. “And we’ll look into the matter with the servants. After all, if one of the servants is Master Bagginses kinsfolk, we both know how fond hobbits are of home and hearth, so I think it’s worth finding out if she is here of her own accord.”

A small smile spread over Kili’s lips as he looked back up at his uncle with that child like look in his eyes. “Thank you, Uncle,” he said. Thorin smiled back and squeezed his nephew’s shoulders before turning to Balin and Gloin. “have the master brought to me at once,” he said with a bit of a grumble in his voice. 

Balin and Gloin quickly left to do as the king wished of them and Thorin was once again left in the company of his troubled nephews.


	11. Chapter 11

While Thorin stayed with his nephews, Bilbo took the liberty of exploring the master’s home. It was large and decorated with shows of wealth and it was hard for the little hobbit to wrap his head around such an opulent display when this man’s people just had their town destroyed and were living in the streets.

As Bilbo wandered down the hallways, he saw doors opened and other dwarves were recovering from battle. As he neared the back of the house, he descended a flight of stairs and found himself in a basement. There were crates and shelves full of supplies, mostly alcoholic. As he looked around, he heard voices. Moving to peer behind a tall shelf, he frowned at the sight.

Asphodel and Brenna were there, they didn’t seem to notice him right away, as their backs were turned to him. “You know how he gets,” Brenna was saying as she dipped a wet rag into a pail of water and proceeded to dab at something on Asphodel’s cheek. “You shouldn’t provoke him.”

“He was being lewd and vulgar,” Asphodel was saying, her voice a bit husky. Bilbo heard a sniff and his heart sunk. What had happened to this hobbit? Deciding to find out, he cleared his throat.

The girls both gasped and whirled to face him. He put his hands up, “Ah, sorry to have startled you,” he said. But when Asphodel turned to face him, he clearly saw a large bruise on her cheek.

“This place is off limit to guests,” Brenna said firmly. “What are you doing down here?”

“I was simply exploring the house,” Bilbo explained. “I wasn’t aware that you would be down here.”

“Well is there something we could help you with?” Brenna asked. “Dinner isn’t until later and you’ve all already had your tea.”

Bilbo bit his lip a little, trying to decide how he should deal with this situation. He took a breath, “did the master give you that bruise?” he asked bluntly. Asphodel turned a bit red with embarrassment and looked down at her feet.

“What business is it of yours where she got it?” Brenna scoffed.

“I just overheard a bit of your conversation,” Bilbo explained. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but I don’t think it's right for him to hit you.”

Asphodel glanced at Bilbo and looked like she desperately wanted to say something, her eyes glistened a bit with tears. But Brenna waved her off and shook her head, “A lot of things in this world aren’t right,” she pointed out, a hint of bitterness in her voice. “But I doubt you have the power to change it, so why complain?”

“Ah, I suppose you are right,” Bilbo said with regret in his voice. He very much wanted to get to the heart of this matter and he could see what looked like shame and fear in the young hobbits eyes, but Brenna fixed him with a stern glare that clearly said his help would not be welcomed. He felt dismayed. After all, Asphodel was his kin, a fellow hobbit. And seeing her made him realize how much he missed his home, his people.

“Well I’ll be going then,” he relented. “I imagine we’ll be off to Erebor soon.” He reluctantly hurried back up the stairs.

***

In another part of the house, the master’s private office, Thorin felt his anger rise as he glared up at the master of Lake-town.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” the master said, “I’d never cheat anyone! You agreed to pay for each dwarf I’m housing here and I’ve only charged you what you’re due!”

“You agreed to charge us three gold per night for each dwarf and twice that for Thorin and his princes,” Gloin said as, Balin, Dwalin, and Thorin all stood in front of the master, each with angry expressions on their faces. He held out a piece of parchment as he read from it, “Yet I see here we are paying you 15 gold per dwarf and 18 for the lads. You’ve been cheating us!”

“Now let’s not be hasty with your assumptions, master dwarf!” the master said with an indignant look on his face. “You forgot to include the charges for use of my servant girls! I told you they’d be extra!”

“We never agreed to their service,” Thorin pointed out. “And that still doesn’t account for this cost.”

“It isn’t as if you can’t afford it!” the master exclaimed. “After all, look at my people! look at what they’ve been through! Don’t they deserve a little extra gold to help rebuild their lives? After all you promised them!”

“Not one gold coin we’ve given you have reached your people,” Balin pointed out. “In fact, we’ve been providing for them directly as we agreed. New Dale will be a prosperous town before long, just as it was in the olden days.”

“It doesn’t matter what you need the money for,” Thorin said with a growl. “We don’t appreciate being cheated. And we will demand restitution for our loss.”

It was at that moment that their little interrogation was interrupted as the door suddenly creaked open and Bilbo poked his head in, frowning when he saw they were all preoccupied, “Oh I’m sorry to disrupt your meeting, your majesty,” Bilbo said, looking at Thorin. “It’s just that I really need to talk to you. It’s quite urgent.”

Thorin sighed and looked at Balin and Dwalin, “keep him here,” he said. “I will return in a moment.”

Balin nodded while Dwalin cracked his knuckles, shooting the master an intimidating glare, “aye…” the old warrior agreed.

Thorin walked out of the small office and joined Bilbo out in the hallway, “What is it Master Baggins?” he asked, noting the concern on the little hobbit’s face.

“I just had an encounter with two of the servants in this house,” Bilbo explained. “The two that have been helping us with the lads. I don’t usually like to intrude upon other people’s affairs, but the hobbit girl looked as though someone had struck her.”

Thorin frowned. He remembered Kili’s concerns about this whole situation and it was beginning to appear that his nephew's fears were accurate. 

“I understand that servants are a common thing outside the shire,” Bilbo continued. “I personally don’t agree with forcing others to do your bidding, but I don’t think it's right they should be abused.”

“I understand your concerns,” Thorin said, “However I feel that there are more important matters at hand than servants. Rebuilding Erebor will be an enormous undertaking and we must look to our own matters first.”

“I agree,” Bilbo said. “Our own matters. I don’t know much about the gnome girl, but Asphodel is a hobbit. And speaking as a fellow hobbit, I don’t think she is here of her own accord. And no hobbit should be forced out of the shire. She deserves to be with her own people, not slaving in the world of men.”

Thorin sighed. He had come to understand how important home and hearth were to hobbits. And he did feel sympathy at the idea that one of these gentle creatures was being abused.

“It seems to me that the master owes you some restitution for cheating you,” Bilbo added.

Thorin studied him and smiled a bit when he caught his meaning. He nodded, “Very well,” he said before turning to go back inside, Bilbo following behind him.

“I believe we can come to a deal,” Thorin said, glancing at the puzzled looks on Gloin, Balin, and Dwalin’s faces. “You can keep half of the gold you’ve cheated us out of.”

“What?” Gloin gasped in bewilderment, “But Thorin!” Thorin only held up a hand to silence his fellow dwarves. The master gave a satisfied grin,

“Ah, I knew you were a reasonable dwarf, your majesty,” the master said. “I’m glad we could-”

“I’m not finished,” Thorin said firmly. “In exchange for the extra gold we’ve so graciously given you, we will take your servant girls as our own. Erebor will take a long time to rebuild and we will need good servants like them.”

“My servants!” the master shook his head. “I need them! You can’t just seize what I own!”

“You don’t own them any longer,” Thorin replied calmly.“We paid for them. If you wish to continue taking our gold then we will take your entire servant staff as our own and leave you with nothing.”

The master looked mortified at this idea. Clearly, he had never contemplated the idea of having to feed himself, clean up after himself, or lift a finger for his own household. “Oh okay, okay, they’re yours,” he relented. “But I do think you dwarves have overstayed your welcome in my home. I want you and all your kin out of here today!”

Thorin rolled his eyes as he and his company abruptly left the man behind in his office. “I would have liked it better if we could have gone away with the gold we are due,” Gloin mumbled angrily. “Not two servant girls!”

“It’s a favor to my nephew,” Thorin explained. “And to Master Baggins here, after all, we never would have made it far without any of them.” He turned to Gloin, “have your brother prep Fili and Kili for transport.” And to Bilbo, “go find the girls and tell them to gather their belongings, we’re to leave at once.”


	12. Chapter 12

The next day was heart wrenching for the Durins. They had found a small wagon for which to carry Fili back to Erebor, but the demoralized dwarf fought them at every turn.

“I don’t want to!” Fili exclaimed, swatting Thorin away as he and Dwalin once again tried to lift him from his bed while Kili watched on from the doorway. “I’ll not be carted off to Erebor like some broken piece of cargo!”

“Lad, we don’t have a choice,” Thorin said, trying to be gentle. “We’ve exceeded our welcome here and it’s about time we participate in the rebuilding of our kingdom.”

“I’m of no use in Erebor,” Fili protested, but finally allowed himself to be lifted from the bed. “Watch his leg,” Oin warned as he and Gloin held the wagon down. It was a simple wooden rectangular box on wheels which the dwarves had lined with pillows and blankets. Kili thought it looked quite comfortable, though he felt disheartened for his brother. “Can’t we put something on it so no one will see him?” he asked, trying not to look at Fili. He feared for his brother’s dignity.

“We’ll put it on once we’re outside,” Thorin asked, laying Fili down in the wagon. The blonde tried to shuffle and let out an exasperated sigh when his legs refused to respond. Kili spied a single tear trickle down his brother’s face and he had to turn away, unable to watch any longer.

“Lad, are you all packed up?” Balin asked as he stood beside the younger dwarf. Kili nodded, staring at the floor, “I… uh… I have to go see to something,” he said, looking up at Balin. He felt the need to get out of the room all of a sudden. He couldn’t bear to listen to or be a part of his brother’s shame like this.

“Aye, don’t be long,” Balin said. “And meet us outside.”

Kili made a hasty exit from the room and hurried down the stairs. Soon, he found the basement. Bilbo had told him he might find the girls here and sure enough, they were both gathered in their tiny corner amongst the walls of wooden crates.

“What are you doing down here?” Brenna demanded as Kili turned the corner and stood before them.

“We’ll be leaving soon,” Kili said. “Are you two almost ready? You should pack up all your belongings.”

Brenna glanced to Asphodel, “And what would a slave have with belongings?” she asked, raising a brow.

“Sorry…” Kili said, looking away and awkwardly fiddling with a loose piece of wood on one of the crates, feeling warmth on his face. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“Is it really true we are to leave here?” Asphodel asked, looking him over with her big green eyes. “Why?”

“Because your master cheated the king out of our gold,” Kili explained quickly. “And we’re taking you as payment.”

“Gold for two worthless servants. Seems like an unfair trade on your king’s part,” Brenna said, her deep blue eyes narrowing with suspicion. “What part did you play in all of this? Did you feel sorry for us? Did you take pity on us?”

Kili sighed, still refusing to look either of them in the eye, and focusing on the crate instead, “I just didn’t think it’s right that you should suffer under this man,” he explained. “I don’t mean to meddle in your affairs, but Bilbo was concerned as well, he is a fellow hobbit after all.”

“I am no hobbit,” Brenna corrected hastily.

“But I am,” Asphodel said, putting a hand on her sister’s shoulder before walking up to Kili and peering up at him and waiting patiently for him to finally turn his eyes to hers. “Master Dwarf. Have you never seen a servant before?”

“No,” Kili admitted.

“Well you ought to get used to it then,” Brenna pointed out, folding her arms across her chest. “Do you think your kingdom will be restored without the use of servants? And when it is restored, who do you think will cook your meals, mend your tunics, and sharpen your blades?”

“Look, we’re all getting ready to leave,” Kili repeated irritably. “And you are both to come with us. Uncle paid for your service so we are your new masters. I don’t mean to be harsh or forceful but I’m not in the mood to be questioned.”

Kili immediately regretted his tone when Asphodel shrank away from him, a slight look of fear in her eyes. She moved back to Brenna who gave Kili a cold glare as the two moved past him on their way out of the basement. Kili squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as he slowly followed behind them.

A few moments later, they rejoined the others outside the master’s house. Fresh snow had fallen and Kili realized it had been awhile since he had been outdoors. He inhaled the crisp mountain air as fog rose up from the lake.

The wagon carrying Fili was covered with a cloth hood and Kili could only make out his brother’s feet as he lay inside. The dwarves had attached the wagon to a pony which Dwalin had mounted and was preparing to ride off. Bilbo, Balin, Oin, and Gloin had all mounted ponies as well.

“There you are,” Thorin said from his pony. “There aren’t enough ponies, you’ll all have to double up.”

“ _ Thorin _ !” the master appeared in the doorway just as Kili and the girls moved forward. “I must protest this! you’ve cheated me out of my best servants!” With that, the master shot forward and grabbed Asphodel by the arm, making her cry out in surprise. “There must be something else you’d like instead! I’ll pay you three times their worth!”

Kili whirled to face the master, the hobbit girl squirmed as she dangled from his grasp. The dwarf’s eyes widened in alarm as he glanced to his uncle, worried he might trade the girls for more gold. “Uncle, you can’t,” he pleaded.

“You will let the hobbit go,” Thorin said in a dangerous tone. “And you will leave us.” Kili watched the suddenly tense moment as Asphodel visibly shook and whimpered a bit in fear. 

“These girls are really of no use to you,” the master protested. “This one is clumsy and thoughtless. It was quite hard to discipline her. And the other seems to have a bold remark for everything.”

Kili winced a little at the idea of discipline. He shuddered to think what the master had done to the girls. And it wasn’t lost on Kili how much the master seemed to want to hold on to two servants when he had others.

But finally, after a tense few minutes with Thorin and Dwalin fixing him with intimidating glares, the master finally dropped the hobbit who quickly scurried over to Brenna who was ready to comfort her.

“This isn’t over,” the master said. “You’ll find I am a man who gets what he wants. Even from kings.” With that he turned on his heels and slammed the door.

Kili let out a breath and moved over to the girls, “sorry…” he said as Asphodel buried her face into Brenna’s shoulder.

“We’ll be fine,” Brenna told him.

“Let’s go, Kili,” Thorin said firmly. “You’ll ride with me.”

Kili nodded and spotted one last pony, “do you know how to ride?” he asked the girls gently.

“We’ll be  _ fine _ ,” Brenna repeated firmly before moving away from him and helping Asphodel onto the pony before climbing up herself.

Kili sighed and hung his head as he moved over to Thorin. His uncle helped him onto the pony and he sat in front, the king taking the reins. As they slowly began to move out towards the mountain, Kili stole a glance at the pony drawn wagon that bore his brother inside it. He knew FIli could hear everything going on around him, but the blonde dwarf remained silent.

Kili felt a lump well up in his throat and he suddenly felt like a tiny, helpless dwarfling. He could do nothing for his brother and he could tell the girls he had helped liberate from their cruel master seemed broken in spirit and utterly terrified of everything. He leaned against Thorin with a long sigh, closing his eyes and trying hard not to have a break down.

To his relief and surprise, Thorin reacted by gripping his nephew tighter, “it’ll be alright, Namadinùdoy,” Thorin whispered soothingly. Kili found he couldn’t say anything in return. That lump in his throat swelled to a boulder and he felt hot tears sting his eyes as he let out a shaky breath.


	13. Chapter 13

Erebor didn’t look like the abandoned kingdom it did when they had first arrived. When Thorin and his caravan arrived at the front gates, he found the rest of their company- Dori, Bofur, and their kin waiting for them.

“You just missed Gandalf,” Dori said as Thorin got off his pony and helped Kili down as well. “He said he had business elsewhere but that he would return in time for the coronation.”

“Good,” Thorin said with a small but weary smile. He made a side glance to the covered wagon where he could see Fili’s feet poking out. He couldn’t tell if his nephew was asleep or not, but the blonde dwarf hadn’t moved or said a word since he was placed inside the wagon.

“We’ve sent word to our kin in the blue mountains,” Bofur said. “They should begin arriving in late spring.”

Ori stepped forward then, glancing at Kili, “we’ve been clearing the destruction the dragon left. With the help of Dain’s warriors, we got quite a lot done.” he said. “We found the king's chambers and a few other royal bed chambers and we fixed them up for you. You know, for when you get tired.”

That was one thing that raised Thorin’s spirits a bit. He glanced to Kili, “come, nephew, I’d like you to see these chambers, they hold special significance to me.”

Thorin walked over to the wagon and gently pulled the cloth covering away from the wagon, revealing his eldest nephew who gazed up at him with those large blue eyes of his, “how do you feel, my nephew?”

“Like a piece of cargo being carted to storage,” Fili grumbled bitterly. Thorin sighed, “well you’ll soon have some privacy,” he said. “But I want to show you something first, if you’re willing.” Fili simply nodded, his lip quivering very slightly. 

“Oh we have something,” Dori spoke up waving at Nori who ducked back into the gates briefly. “Gandalf told us about… what happened and well, we made this.” Nori returned with a wooden chair which had been mounted on top of a set of large iron wheels. As Thorin helped Fili sit up, the blonde caught sight of the chair and winced. Thorin bit his lip, preparing for a negative reaction from his eldest.

But Fili only whimpered quietly, shuddering as he nodded, “thank you, Nori,” he said softly, not meeting anyone’s eye.

“We’ve tried to make sure you’d have access to most of the mountain, but it’s still a work in progress,” Dori explained. “Erebor is suffering from more than a century of neglect after all.”

At that moment, Bofur caught notice of the two young girls standing beside Bilbo. The dwarf leaned over to Thorin and Kili while Balin and Dwalin helped Fili into the chair, “who are the lasses?”

“Servants,” Thorin responded. “We took them as compensation from the master.”

“Uncle,” Kili asked. “Can we find them chambers too? they were living in the masters basement. I think they deserve better treatment than that.”

“Very well, we’ll find them some,” Thorin said before he took the handles on Fili’s wheelchair. “Now come.”

“I’ll help around here,” Balin said, resigning to stay with Dori.

“Aye, and I had better start securing this place, can’t have orcs sneaking up on us while we sleep,” Dwalin said.

Kili looked at Thorin with fear, “you don’t think the orcs will come back, do you, Uncle?” he asked. “We defeated them. They should be gone.”

“I think we’re safe for now,” Thorin said. “But we must be prepared for anything. There are many who would want to take this kingdom from us and we must not let it happen again.”

Kili nodded and glanced over his shoulder, motioning for the girls and Bilbo to join them as he followed Thorin who wheeled Fili through the gates. They all gazed around in amazement. Dori and the others had indeed been busy. The grand entrance hall had been completely restored, its green stone shining with renewed vigor. Light shone through the many slitted windows and arched sky holes, and from the light of thousands of torches and fires all illuminated the massive interior.

As they climbed through walkways, descended into corridors, and turned into rooms, the splendor of Erebor seemed to continue on forever. Of course, there were still areas covered in rubble, rooms which remained covered in stale dust, evidence of neglect was still everywhere, but Thorin was filled with awe at the work that had already been done.

“It’s amazing,” Kili exclaimed as they walked.

“When our kin arrive, it will be even more glorious,” Thorin responded. “It will be our home.”

“I have never seen anything so wondrous,” said Asphodel as she, Bilbo, and Brenna walked closely behind them.

“Shh,” Brenna shushed quietly. “Restrain your enthusiasm, Asphodel. We are in yet another master’s stronghold.” 

Kili and Fili exchanged looks at this and Thorin felt sympathetic for the two young girls he had suddenly acquired as servants. He felt the need to correct the matter. He’d attend to that later, for now, he wanted to enjoy this moment. Anticipation welled up inside of him as they came to two massive arched doors. “Kili, take your brother,” Thorin instructed as he moved to the door.

“I’ll do it,” Brenna spoke, walking over to take the handle on Fili’s chair. “We are the servants, after all.”

Thorin pulled the doors opened, revealing a massive room. As they all entered, they stood on the landing of a flight of marble stairs. Down below them was a huge room. On one end was a large stone fireplace, and on the other was a massive gold plated canopy bed. The room was quite bare and still somewhat covered in dust and disarray, but it was clear it had been greatly restored.

Thorin felt memories rush to him. Memories of himself as a young dwarfling, playing in this room. The walls were decorated with his own treasures, paintings, busts of long dead kings, swords on display.

“Whose room was this?” Kili asked, glancing at Thorin as they slowly descended the stairs, taking care with Fili and his wheelchair.

“It was mine,” Thorin said softly, putting a hand on his nephew's shoulder. “I grew up in this room.”

“So all these things, they were yours?” Kili asked as his eyes fell on a small sword which rested on a shelf near the bed.

“Yes,” Thorin said. “It looks as it did the last night I slept in it.” Thorin smiled as his nephew eyed the sword, “that was my first blade.” Kili took the sword, admiring the perfect dwarven steel and the jewels and gold trim embedded in the hilt.

“You can have it if you wish,” Thorin offered. “It’s quite old. It was forged for me when I began my first fighting lessons.”

Kili looked in awe, “thank you, Uncle,” he said as he continued to look around. Even Fili seemed to have briefly forgotten his woes as he gazed around the room while Brenna pushed his wheelchair, allowing him to get a full view of the room.

Thorin couldn’t help but chuckle at his nephew’s wonder. For a moment, they both seemed like dwarflings again as they explored the room he had spent his own childhood in. They had to see and touch every inch of the room. There was a large bathroom and a large closet, as well as a balcony which overlooked the sprawling expanse that was Erebor’s throne room.

“Who will sleep here now?” Kili asked as they finished their tour.

“You will, Kili,” Thorin said, smiling warmly. “This is your chambers now.”

Kili looked shocked at first but quickly crossed back over to his uncle and Thorin happily accepted his embrace, hugging his nephew close to him for a few precious moments.

After a moment, Thorin took his nephews back out of the room, around the corner and into the next room which once belonged to Thrain. Fili and Kili had never met their grandfather, so they were quite impressed with his collection of trinkets. This was to be Fili’s room while the last room on the right- the king’s room- once belonging to Thror, would be Thorin’s. To the left of Kili’s new room were the rooms that once belonged to Frerin, Thor in’s long dead brother, and to Dis.

“Quite impressive,” Bilbo commented after their tour. “Quite impressive indeed.”

“I’m not done yet,” Thorin said, leading the group to his sibling’s rooms. “Master Baggins, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you. You helped us reclaim our homeland and my company and I are in your debt. As a reward, you may sleep in one of these other royal chambers for as long as you stay with us.”

Bilbo waved Thorin off casually, “Ah that isn’t necessary, I’ve gotten used to sleeping in the dirt,” he said. “And I’m happy to help.”

“You should stay with us,” Kili added. “At least until we’ve rebuilt everything.”

“I miss the shire” Bilbo admitted. “And I think I’d like to go home. But I’ll stay for a time. Perhaps until the coronation.”

Thorin nodded before turning to the two girls, “Now the rest of these are occupied by the rest of the company,” he explained. “But I think there were two unused bed chambers here at the end of the hall. You two may have them if you wish.” He walked over to the first small door and shoved it opened, revealing a small yet elegant bedroom, complete with a large king size canopy bed, balcony, closet, bathroom, and fireplace. “I hope this is suitable.”

“You mean we get to live here?” Asphodel gasped, glancing at Brenna who looked equally shocked. “I assumed there would be a basement we would stay in.”

“No,” Thorin said, glancing at his nephews and Bilbo before continuing. “In fact, I purchased you from the master so I believe I can decide a few other things. Like how long you will remain servants.”

Brenna and Asphodel looked at one another and stood in front of the king. Fili and Kili looked on with small smiles on their faces.

“What do you mean?” Brenna asked cautiously. “Do you mean to sell us again?”

“No,” Thorin said. “I’m releasing you from your servitude. You are no longer required to serve me or anyone else.”

“We’re free?” Asphodel repeated incredulously. “You mean we can do what we wish, go where we wish?”

“You may leave here if that is your will,” Thorin said. “If you wish to remain here, at least until the coronation, we could certainly use your help in helping to restore the palace. What are your skills and interests, if I may ask?”

The girls looked at each other in disbelief, as if they couldn’t quite believe what Thorin was saying. They hesitated to speak.

“I think Asphodel makes wonderful tea,” Kili spoke out.

“Well yes, I do like tea,” she said shyly. “I like to cook and I like to grow herbs, though I never really got the chance to do the latter.”

“Ah, I can help you with that,” Bilbo said. “After all, Erebor could use some greenery and a hobbit’s touch.”

“Bombur would be happy to have you working in the kitchen with him,” Thorin suggested. “As for… plants. We are dwarves, Master Baggins.”

“Nevermind that,” Bilbo said, waving him off again. “Even dwarves can do well with a few plants here and there. Asphodel, my tomatoes took first prize at the last market in the shire and I’d be happy to teach you how to grow your own.”

“I’d like that,” Asphodel agreed shyly.

“And what of you, Mistress Gnome?” Thorin asked, turning to Brenna.

“I like working with textiles,” Brenna said with a shrug. “Weaving, knitting, sewing, that sort of thing. My people come from the north and are known for their textiles and leather work.”

“We certainly need a seamstress,” Thorin said. “I think the palace could be enhanced with fresh rugs and tapestries, and I don’t think anyone here would turn down a new tunic. You would have a part in restoring Erebor to what it once was.”

Brenna considered it and eventually nodded her agreement.

“Very good, you’ll both be compensated in gold for your services,” Thorin said, turning back to his nephews. “Would you like to see the rest of the palace?”

“Do you feel up to it, Fili?” Kili asked, taking his brother’s chair. Thorin noted that Fili’s mood had been improved by the tour of the bed chambers, but he knew that his nephew’s feelings were still vulnerable. Fili was embarrassed about being hauled around the palace, he was having a hard time quelling these feelings of shame. But maybe, now that they were home, home, things would begin to get better.

“Yes,” Fili said and so Thorin led his young kin, Bilbo, and the girls through the palace, delighting in the opportunity to show them the kingdom he had once lost, the palace he’d longed for for so long. It all felt surreal to him now. His home was reclaimed.


	14. Chapter 14

The following days and weeks were a buzz of activity around the palace as the restoration of Erebor continued. The first wave of dwarf settlers would be arriving in a few months' time and the date for Thorin’s coronation was set for late spring. There was much to do and prepare for.

Fili woke alone in bed one day a few weeks after their homecoming. The first thing he saw every morning was the metal bars and railings that hung from the ceiling over his bed. Thorin had installed these so that Fili could pull himself up every morning and roll himself into his wheelchair. As he did so this morning, he fought with the feelings of shame and despair that greeted him every morning when he woke and saw the rails, a reminder of what his life was now.

The iron railings extended throughout the large bed chambers he slept in and allowed Fili the dignity of being able to clothe himself every morning, which was much better than having to wait for Kili or Thorin to arrive and help him.

Fili dressed and wheeled himself to the door, moving out and slowly down the halls. Thorin and Kili had personally seen that many of Erebor’s labyrinth of stairs were replaced with gradually descending or ascending paths so that Fili would have access to as much of the palace as possible. But as he rolled through the halls, he still felt the heat of embarrassment. He was glad that the palace was still empty save for the company and Dain’s surviving army, but he dreaded the day the first of the people would begin to arrive to find their prince a cripple.

Fili made his way to the dining hall. When he arrived, he found Bilbo seated at the table with Asphodel beside him and Kili opposite him. The three of them all looked up at the blonde dwarf’s entrance.

“Brother,” Kili greeted brightly. “Join us, Bombur says breakfast will be up in a moment.”

Fili said nothing at first, just rolled up to the table beside his brother, peering over the top. Bilbo had a long piece of parchment and a quill and ink jar. “What are you doing?” Fili asked.

“Master Baggins was teaching us about hobbit families,” Kili explained.

“Ah yes,” Bilbo said, turning to Asphodel. “Now what did you say your family name was again? I don’t believe you ever mentioned it.”

“Breestone,” Asphodel responded as she watched Bilbo write some names down, working in perfect calligraphy. Fili and Kili watched curiously.

“Ah, I’m not too familiar with that one,” Bilbo admitted. “What was your mother’s name?”

“Azalea Bolger,” Asphodel responded. 

Bilbo’s eyes lit up in recognition, “ah you are a bolger,” he said. “And I believe there was an Azalea Bolger in my tree. She married an outsider from Bree.”

“Yes, my father was from Bree,” Asphodel confirmed, before looking at Bilbo with hope. “You mean you’ve met my parents?”

“It’s possible,” Bilbo said. “Let’s see. My aunt married a Bolger and I think they had about six children.”

“Mahal…” Kili murmured. “That’s a lot.”

“Ah yes, most hobbits have large families,” Bilbo responded nonchalantly. “Now let me think here, lad. Ah now I remember. They moved out to the outskirts of the shire, near the old forest. And one of these six children was little Azalea. She was six years my junior, I think.”

“My mother…” Asphodel said, smiling. “She talked about growing up near the old forest. She used to say that the forest was enchanted. I don’t remember the shire at all, I’m afraid.”

“Hold on a moment,” Kili said as he watched Bilbo illustrate his family lineage. “So wouldn’t Asphodel be your relation?”

“Why yes,” Bilbo said, looking at the younger hobbit. “You are my neice.”

Asphodel looked up at him, “I am?” she inhaled. “Do I have any other relations in the shire?”

“Well you certainly have plenty of cousins,” Bilbo said. “But Aunt Belba’s children all died young I’m afraid. With the exception of Azalea, of course. So I suppose I’d be as close to you as any other Baggins or Bolger.”

“Uncle…” Asphodel said softly, as if she was trying out the word for the first time. Bilbo hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a small smile. Fili and Kili exchanged knowing smiles and Fili felt oddly satisfied that he’d witnessed a family reunion of sorts. It was his company that brought the dragon upon Lake-town, an attack which had cost this girl her mother. And the subsequent war with the orcs had brought nothing but destruction on the only life she had ever known. It was rewarding to see her find family in their own burglar.

“Oh but Brenna doesn’t have anyone,” Asphodel said sadly, looking down. Bilbo seemed to think for a moment, then shrugged. 

“When we return to the shire, Brenna is welcomed to join us,” he suggested. “And I wouldn’t mind it if she called me uncle as well.”

“We’re returning to the shire?” Asphodel repeated. “What do you mean we?”

“Well you are not only a fellow hobbit, but my niece,” Bilbo said firmly. “I intend to look after you. I know you’ve been on your own a long time, but you are young and you belong with your people.”

Asphodel smiled wide, “I’ve dreamed of seeing the shire for so long,” she said. “I had given up all hope.”

At that moment, Brenna strode into the room and gave a look of disapproval when she noted Bilbo and Asphodel, “Asphodel, you should go help Bombur cook breakfast,” she suggested. “We have a lot of work today.”

“There’s no need for that,” Fili assured the gnome as she approached the table. “Bombur can manage. Won’t you join us?”

“What is going on here?” Brenna demanded, her voice stern.

“Asphodel found out that Bilbo is her uncle,” Kili explained. “Imagine the odds.”

Fili cringed inwardly when Brenna immediately got a look of horror on her face, “and what does that mean?” she asked, looking at Asphodel for an answer. “Are you going to abandon me for him now?”

“No, of course not,” Asphodel insisted, looking a little deflated by the gnome’s abrasive attitude. “Uncle Bilbo is willing to take us both in. He’s going to take care of us.”

Fili frowned when this bit of news didn’t seem to alleviate Brenna’s apparent devastation. She simply huffed, “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” she informed them. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

With that, the gnome strode hastily out of the dining hall. Fili exchanged awkward glances with his brother. There seemed to be more going on around here and Fili felt compelled to find out what it was.

“Asphodel, do you know what has upset her so?” Bilbo asked, glancing at the young woman.

“She lost her parents long ago,” Asphodel explained. “And she hasn’t seen another gnome since she was captured by slave mongers in the Forodwaiths. She doesn’t trust anyone and she doesn’t let anyone in. I’m the only one she really trusts, but I’ve always suspected she was always envious of the fact that I still had my mother. I suppose she feels threatened.”

Fili could only speculate. He thought about the gnome and he thought back to the confrontation he had had with her back in the master’s home. They’d kept their distance from one another since then. Fili wondered what could have happened in Brenna’s life that could make her so closed off, while Asphodel had remained kind and warm.

The rest of the morning and afternoon passed without incident. Later in the day found Fili rolling slowly through the halls of Erebor. He decided to take an alternate route back to his chambers, curious to explore the labyrinth of corridors and halls that made up the palace. As he passed one open room, he noticed a light on inside and maneuvered his wheelchair to enter. “Hello? he called, pushing past the door.

He was surprised to find Brenna sitting on the window sill, busily sewing some type of fabric cloth. This was a room that faced the exterior gate of Erebor and as such, the tall 30 foot arched windows brought natural sunlight into the room, illuminating it with a soft glow. The middle window was a door which opened out onto the balcony which offered panoramic views of Dale, Long Lake, and Mirkwood beyond.

Brenna turned when Fili came into the room, at first, a look of what Fili thought may have been fear grazed her blue eyes, but it was quickly replaced with that icy exterior he’d come to observe from her.

“You could have knocked,” she scolded as he wheeled himself up to her.

“This room isn’t designated for private chambers,” Fili said with a shrug as he looked over what she was doing. She had what looked like knitting needles and was knitting some thick wool yarn. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

Brenna sighed, turning to gaze out at the scenery below, “I found it the other day,” she said. “Thought I could come here to be alone.”

“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” Fili offered. He smirked as he recalled when she had dropped in on his brooding. “Although I have to say that things seem to be reversed. I would imagine that you don’t have any wounds that need cleaning?”

Brenna looked at him then, a hint of emotion in her eyes, “if I did, why would I tell you?” she asked. “Wounds aren’t always physical.”

Fili swallowed, not taking his gaze off of her. So someone or something had hurt her. That much was apparent. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” he said. “I can see what I need to in your eyes. And in your look of horror at the idea of living a peaceful life in the shire. Do you fear the notion that you might be able to settle down in a life of comfort, surrounded by people who might grow to love you? Are you even more afraid of the idea you might grow to love and even trust them as well?”

Brenna scowled at him dangerously, “you should watch your bold tongue, Prince Fili,” she warned. “I don’t think you understand what you are talking about.”

Fili couldn’t help but smirk, which only seemed to confuse the gnome. “It seems we both have bold tongues,” he said. He turned serious for a moment, “tell me, why did you look afraid when I first came in?”

“I wasn’t afr-”

“Don’t try to hide it.”

“I didn’t know it was you at first,” she admitted. “And… you never know what someone’s intentions are.”

Fili studied her expression for a moment. He didn’t understand where that kind of sentiment might have come from. He noted that she was very beautiful, her eyes were a deep cerulean blue and her hair was the color of gold. But her round, delicate face seemed hardened by the wall she had built up against her emotions.

Fili turned his attention to the window, attempting to lighten the air of tension between them. He felt disheartened to think what might have happened to her, but he understood that she didn’t want pity.

“What is it you are doing, if I may ask?” he asked, referring to the yarn in her hands.

“Knitting a blanket,” she said. “My room gets a bit drafty at night.”

“You could have asked someone,” Fili told her. “We have plenty of blankets.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help,” she shot back. “I’m quite capable of providing for my own comfort.”

“I have no doubt that you are,” Fili said, holding up his hands. “You sure attack a lot. Do you have trouble accepting kindness?”

“Kindness is usually laced with ulterior motives,” Brenna responded.

“I suppose that can be true,” Fili offered with a sigh of exasperation at her defensive attitude. “You have always been very independent, haven’t you?”

“I’ve learned not to depend on others, if that’s what you mean,” Brenna returned. “And that has always worked well for me.”

“Suit yourself,” Fili replied. He paused for a moment to glance towards the opened glass door leading out onto the balcony. Perhaps he could try again with a different subject.

“The rooms that face the gate are the few that give us a view outside the mountain,” he told her as he maneuvered his wheelchair towards the door. Brenna put her yarn down and got up, pushing the glass door opened so they could go out onto the balcony. 

The air was crisp and cold, winter had clearly taken hold of the region. Fresh snow blanketed the land. As Fili and Brenna gazed over the balcony wall, they could see movement in the settlement of Dale, the refugees of Lake-town had been hard at work rebuilding their ancient city.

“The battlefield has been completely erased,” Fili noted. He remembered the battle that took place before this mighty gate, he remembered the chaos, the screams, the blood, the bodies. There was no trace of them. Only fresh snow. As he looked, he felt haunted by the memories. He shuttered a bit in spite of himself.

“Your kin did a good job repairing the damage,” Brenna commented. “It’s hard to imagine there ever was a battle here.”

“It’s not so hard,” Fili corrected, glancing up at her from his wheelchair. “If you had participated in it.”

Brenna looked at him sadly, she paused as if trying to find words. As if she was trying to sort him out. “I don’t think I can ever forget,” Fili murmured softly. It wasn’t as if this wheelchair didn’t provide him with the reminder every day, but he was still haunted by the memory of battle. He cleared his throat, not taking his eyes off of hers. “It seems that I’m not the only one between us that is haunted by memory.”

“I don’t want to talk about my memories,” she said softly, her tone defensive once again.

“I didn’t ask you to share them,” he responded. He paused, leaning forward before emphasizing his sincerity in his next words. “I don’t know who or what hurt you but I know what hurt is. Perhaps if I can learn to live with this…” he lowered his eyes to indicate his wheelchair, “maybe, in time, you can learn to trust.” In all honesty, Fili still wasn’t sure he could live his life as it is now, but if she was willing to try, then perhaps he could too.

“I suppose we'll see what either of us can live with,” she offered, and she gave him a small smile as they turned to head back into the room.

“Please use this room for whatever you wish,” Fili offered as he headed back for the entrance. “I won’t disturb you again.”

“It is your palace,” Brenna responded. “You can disturb whomever you wish.”

Fili turned to look at her, glad that she was at least trying to drop her rigid facade. There was even a small grin slowly spreading across her face. “If you want my disturbance, you know where to find me,” he said, returning the smile before heading out of the room.


	15. Chapter 15

It was early morning when Kili was awakened to what sounded like noises in his room. Blinking, he sat up as he strained to listen. The moans seemed to be coming from the wall… the room beside him… Fili’s room! 

Gasping, the brown haired dwarf stumbled out of bed, scrambling to pull his tunic and trousers on before bolting out the door and knocking on Fili’s door. “Fili? Are you okay, Brother?” No answer. But the moans and labored breathing were definitely coming from inside.

Kili burst into the room and stopped short, trying to discern what could be happening. Fili was sitting up in bed, gripping the metal rails that hung from above his bed. In the dim candle light, Kili could vaguely see his brother’s silhouette hunched over and shaking ever so slightly.

After lighting a few torches and illuminating the room fully, Kili hurried to his brother’s bedside and looked him over. Fili gasped as if in the most terrible pain, he gripped the rails so tightly Kili could see his white knuckles. His eyes were squeezed shut, his teeth clenched, and his brow glistening with sweat.

“Fili…” Kili put a hand on his brother’s back, puzzled as to what could be happening.

“It hurts…” Fili murmured through clenched teeth. “Oh mahal it hurts…”

“What hurts, Fili? I don’t understand.”

Fili moaned loudly, panting as it was clear whatever pain he was in was hard to endure, “back…” he choked out through clenched teeth. He let go of the rail and slowly moved his hand to touch his back, in the middle of his spine, trying to indicate where he was hurting.

“I’ll get Oin,” Kili said, concern and fear gripping him. As he turned, his hand brushed against the lump in the bed that was Fili’s leg. Instantly the blonde dwarf gasped, “ow!” he exclaimed, writhing a bit.

Kili’s breath caught in his throat, turning back to his brother, “you… you felt that?”

“Yes I…” Fili trailed off, meeting his brother’s eye as he realized the implications. “I  _ felt _ it!”

Kili nearly fell over himself trying to scramble to the door, “Uncle!” he cried at the top of his lungs. “Oin, hurry!”

Moments later found Fili laying in bed on his belly while Oin examined his back. Kili and Thorin looked on, standing together, both barely daring to breathe. 

Oin poked the blonde dwarf’s legs a few times with his finger and each time Fili reacted with pain. And then, Kili caught the sight of movement. On that last poke, Fili moved his foot.

“Ah the swelling in his spine is subsiding!”Oin proclaimed, a big smile on his face. “You’re healing, Lad.”

“You mean… he can walk?” Thorin asked.

“Well I had hoped this swelling would have gone down in time, but I had feared it may be permanent,” Oin explained. “Only time could have told. And Laddie, you won’t regain use of your legs right away, they’ll need time.”

“But… I won’t be crippled?” Fili asked as Thorin moved to help Oin roll him onto his back. Kili didn’t miss the hope in his brother’s tone and he couldn’t help but feel it too.

“I think once the swelling goes down completely, you will have complete feeling in your legs again, Lad,” Oin confirmed. 

“Why is he in so much pain?” Kili asked, feeling a pang of sympathy as Fili winced hard.

“Because now that the swelling and numbness in his back is going away, he is feeling the pain caused by the back injury itself,” Oin explained. The old healer pulled a vial of medicine out of his bag and helped Fili to drink. “This should help. You’ll be sore for quite awhile.”

Kili met his brother’s eyes and grinned, hurrying over to pull Fili into a tight embrace, “see I knew you’d heal,” he said into his brother’s blonde mane. “You just had to be patient.”

Fili looked up at him with doubt in his blue eyes and Kili let out a sigh, “okay, I was beginning to doubt it,” Kili admitted. “But everything’s going to be okay now, Brother. Everything.”

Fili almost couldn’t process this miraculous turn of events. He grinned and chuckled, though tears of joy trickled down his face.

“I… I thought I would be like this for the rest of my life,” he mumbled into Kili’s tunic. “I… I was even starting to get used to it.”

“Well now you won’t have to,” Kili told him. “You’ll be running through the halls of Erebor before long.”

Thorin came forward and embraced Fili tight. “My lad…” he murmured and his shaky voiced caught Kili off guard. Thorin rarely showed this much emotion. 

The heirs of Durin embraced one another, Kili held on to his brother and to his uncle as tight as he possibly could, not daring to let go. Now Kili felt he could truly call this place home. His brother was healing, the people would be returning, and soon the dragon would be a distant memory. The toll this journey had taken on him was great, both emotionally and physically. And he knew the scars of battle would never truly heal. He and his brother and his uncle and everyone else who had been involved in this epic quest would never forget it. But in the end, Erebor is reclaimed and Kili could now look forward to the days to come, standing with his brother at Thorin’s side as he claimed his rightful place as the king of carven stone.

After a moment, Kili moved back, “I’m hungry,” he announced with a wide, watery grin. Thorin and Fili glanced at one another with smirks on their faces.

“Go see what Bombur has for breakfast then,” Thorin suggested. “The rest of the palace should be up by now.”

Kili gave his brother one last embrace before hurrying off for the kitchen. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement and a lightness in his step as he meandered through the halls. Things would be alright now. 

But as he neared the kitchen, he was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of shouting. Quietly, he pushed the door to the kitchen opened and found Asphodel and Brenna facing one another. Brenna stood with her hands on her hips, glaring with some hostility at Asphodel and Asphodel looked distraught.

“You are always so trusting,” Brenna was saying. “And you are so naive. You don’t understand the dangers in this world, Asphodel, and there’s no where that’s safe.”

“The shire is safe,” Asphodel insisted. “Nothing happens there, it’s peaceful and beautiful. Why won’t you come with us?”

“Because that peace is an illusion,” Brenna said. “After all if it were really so peaceful, you and your mother wouldn’t have gotten yourself caught by slave mongers now would you.”

Kili frowned and cleared his throat. Both girls glanced at him. “Is everything alright?” he asked with concern, glancing to Asphodel who looked on the verge of tears.

“Do you make a habit of barging in on people’s conversations, Master Dwarf?” Brenna accused. Kili held his hands up in mock defense.

“No, I was just coming to get something to eat,” he insisted. “Are you alright? Can I help either you?”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” Brenna muttered under her breath as she stormed past him and out the door. “I’ve said my peace.”

Kili moved in and kept his gaze on Asphodel, who immediately hung her head. 

“I think Bombur made some blood sausage and eggs,” she said, quickly turning her back to him as she moved towards the wood oven. “Let me get it for you.”

Kili heard her sniffle and winced. “Look I don’t know what that was about but… if you want someone to talk to…”

Asphodel turned back to him, her big green eyes shone with unshed tears. “Do you trust in hope, Master Kili?” she asked softly.

Kili thought about that question. Not long ago, he would have easily said no. But now… “yes…” he said firmly. “Hope exists, I’ve just seen it with my own eyes.”

Asphodel blinked with confusion and Kili couldn’t help but smile, moving closer to her, “My brother,” he said. “He can move his legs! I had begun to lose hope and I know he had as well but this morning…”

Asphodel broke a smile, “that’s wonderful,” she exclaimed. “I’m happy for him. For you.”

“So you see,” he said returned to the topic. “If that is not hope, I don’t know what is.”

Asphodel frowned, “my sister doesn’t want to believe that there can be good in this world. After the terrible things that have happened to her, she doesn’t trust that she could ever be truly happy.”

Kili paused, trying to consider his response. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through,” he said. “Someone as kind as you shouldn’t have to be hurt. I’m sorry that my kin and I have brought such destruction upon your town.”

“Destruction had befallen Lake-town long before you arrived,” Asphodel told him. “The master is a greedy, cruel man and I’m grateful to you for taking me away from him. I know that you and Bilbo were the ones who talked your uncle into taking us and I appreciate your kindness.”

Kili smiled, his heart lighter at knowing that he and his company had been some help to the people of Lake-town, despite the destruction they seem to have caused. Then he remembered past encounters with Asphodel and how she had seemed fearful of him when he had raised his voice to her. He stepped closer to her, “now that you are free of the master,” he told her. “I’d like to know whether he had mistreated you. That bruise I saw on you before. Why did he hit you?”

Asphodel immediately looked timid and gazed towards the floor, not speaking right away, as if afraid. “My sister said I should not say anything,” she said. “If word got back to the master-”

“The master will never hurt you again,” Kili reminded her firmly. “And neither will anyone else. I promise. You can tell me.”

She hesitated, keeping her eyes on the ground. Kili frowned and put a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look back up at him. She took a breath and slowly pivoted to turn her back to him, then she unfastened the top button of her tunic, letting the fabric droop slightly to reveal her bare back. Kili took in a breath, shocked at what he saw. Criss crossing her back were at least a dozen scars. Some looked older than others, some looked quite recent.

“He whipped you?” Kili felt disgusted at the sight. She turned around to face him again, fastening her tunic as she nodded.

“He never does the deed himself,” Asphodel explained. “He can’t be bothered with disciplining servants. He has other servants whip us. But he made sure I understood that I deserved it.”

“What could you have possibly done to have warranted such abuse?” Kili had to bite his tongue to keep from swearing, he was having a hard time digesting what he had seen. Of all he had seen on this journey, blatant abuse wasn’t something he’d been very exposed to and seeing it now, he found it the most disturbing and abhorrent thing he had ever seen.

“When the dragon attacked, a number of days before you and your kin arrived to heal, Brenna and I tried to take advantage of the chaos and run away from the master,” Asphodel explained. “My mother was killed in the initial attack. We made it to shore and tried to hide among the refugees who were headed for Dale. But we were caught and brought back to his private estate. When he confronted us, he struck me hard. I was so tired of serving him and I just couldn’t take it so… I struck him back. I argued with him and tried to fight back, but he and his guards were too powerful. Brenna tried to tell me to behave because I’d make it that much harder on myself, but I’m too impulsive. I used to believe it was bravery but it’s only foolishness.”

Kili couldn’t help but smirk at her last comment. Though he felt terrible at hearing what she had been through, he couldn’t help but relate.

“You are amused by this?” She looked at him with confusion.

“Not by your story,” he explained. “But I can relate to your impulsiveness. I’ve been called reckless on occasion.” He thought back to the morgul wound he had received as a result of his recklessness. “Maybe it is foolishness, but I think it can be bravery too. If you have the skills to protect yourself.”

“I don’t,” Asphodel pointed out. “A master would never permit a slave to gain the ability to defend herself.”

“Well… perhaps it’s not too late for that.”

She raised a brow and he shrugged, “I’m not the best warrior out there but I could teach you. I’m one of the few dwarves who has skills in archery if you want to learn. With archery, you can assure that no one ever comes close enough to hurt you again.”

Asphodel blinked, surprised at the prospect, “you’d teach me how to fight?”

“Well I have some skill here or there,” Kili said with a smirk as he tried to be modest about his skills. But those efforts were quickly abandoned as he went for a more suave approach, raising a brow as he shamelessly began to promote his warrior’s prowess: “Although you should have seem me take out half of Azog’s army with my bow!”

Asphodel giggled, “half of his army?”

“Well… I suppose not that many. But it was a lot!” This seemed to amuse Asphodel and she laughed happily. Kili was taken aback by how much he liked seeing her laugh and smile. And he felt elated at the prospect of spending more time with her. He swallowed, suddenly feeling self conscious, “So uh… did you want to learn?”

“I’d love to,” she said, prompting a broad smile from Kili. “When can we start?”

“Whenever you want,” Kili said. “I want to spend some time with my brother, he has to get used to walking again and I want to be there when he takes his first steps. But other than that… I’m all yours.”

“I’m going to be spending the day learning how to plant seedlings with my uncle Bilbo,” Asphodel said. “Tomorrow?”

“Alright, tomorrow,” Kili agreed. He took his leave of her then, heading out of the kitchen, completely forgetting his hunger. He found himself hoping the day would pass quickly.


	16. Chapter 16

The day that Fili took his first steps came as a surprise to everyone. He was still dependent on his wheelchair before then, he was still getting used to being able to feel his legs again. They seemed foreign to him somehow.

But as he rolled towards the dining hall one morning, he felt that today would be the day. He felt determined and tried to hold in his excitement. When he entered the dining room, everyone was there. Thorin, Bilbo, Kili, Asphodel, Brenna, the rest of the company. They were all finishing up breakfast and glanced up when he entered.

“You slept late,” Thorin pointed out when Fili entered. 

“I’m sorry,” Fili responded as he maneuvered his wheelchair towards the far side of the room. Thorin watched him curiously.

As everyone watched, he felt a little nervous now. He didn’t know how he felt about having such a big audience, but now was as good a time as any. Slowly, he used his arms to raise himself up. Grunting a bit from the strain, he placed one foot firmly onto the ground, and then the other. He hesitated at this point. He wondered if his legs would support him. When he looked up, he saw everyone gazing at him in amazement. He felt a flush of embarrassment as Kili stumbled out of his seat and started towards him.

“No, Brother,” Fili said as Kili hurried towards him. “I can do this.” Kili stopped in the center of the room and waited. Fili had a goal, if he could walk to his brother, that would be enough. He took a breath and let go of the wheelchair. For the first time since before the battle, he was standing.

He wobbled and for a moment, he thought he was going to fall, but he cautiously took one step. Then another. Slowly, he inched closer and closer to Kili. Every step was an accomplishment and each time, he wobbled and had to brace himself. He wasn’t going to fall, he kept telling himself. 

Finally, he was only inches away from his brother when his feet gave out. He toppled forward and Kili darted forward to catch him. Thorin was there in seconds, helping to support him.

“You walked!” Kili gasped, chuckling in delight. Fili couldn’t help but grin. He’d dreamt of this for a long time, and every day that he had awakened unable to move was one more day he felt himself spiral slowly and slowly away. Now, finally, he could put this whole nightmare behind him.

Even Thorin grinned broadly and chuckled as he and Kili supported Fili, “my sister-son,” he said and Fili couldn’t help but bask in the praises from his uncle.

The rest of the company made room for him at the table as Kili and Thorin helped him sit and as he ate his breakfast surrounded by his dearest family, he felt things would be okay.

Over the next few days and weeks, winter passed away and spring returned to the mountain. The first waves of dwarves from the blue mountains arrived soon after the last snows melted. The company succeeded in clearing out any memory of the dragon. There was still much work to complete, but Erebor was now a home again. It’s halls buzzed with activity.

As Fili roamed the halls, he couldn’t believe how amazing it felt to walk. He felt as though he had had to learn to walk all over again. But today, he was standing strong and no longer depended on assistance from others. He still couldn’t run much, and he had to use a cane on occasion as his legs got stronger, but he knew he had come a long way.

But today of all days, it was important for him to be able to stand strong. Today was the day of the coronation and practically all of middle earth had turned up for the occasion. He and Kili had spent the past few weeks preparing for the event. Clothiers had poked and prodded them to find the perfect prince’s robes. Caterers took their orders from Bombur. The halls of Erebor were decorated for the event. More and more guests arrived by the day. There would be speeches and feasting and a grand ball, the formal event would be the grandest the dwarf world had seen in centuries. It was not only Thorin’s coronation as king, but also, Erebor’s re-emergence as a kingdom.

In the early afternoon, Fili decided to take a break before the event began. He roamed the halls, leaning lightly on his cane as he walked. He came upon an opened door and found Brenna inside, knitting. As he watched, Fili recalled that this was the room he had found her in before.

“Greetings, Milady,” he said cautiously as he entered. “It seems I’ve managed to disturb you once again.”

Brenna whirled to face him. Her expression hardened at the sight of him, “I should have known,” she said irritably.

“If you don’t wish to be disturbed, perhaps you should keep the door closed,” Fili offered as he moved over to her, “After all, it’s no crime to simply be walking down the hall. Perhaps you secretly wish to be disturbed.”

“Don’t assume what you don’t understand, Master Dwarf,” she responded. 

“I have to get ready for the coronation,” he continued, ignoring her retort. “But I wanted to go for a walk first. For one who has not had use of his legs for a time, I enjoy using them as often as I can. I’d like some company, so it’s fortunate that I’ve found you.”

“I have work to do,” she protested. She seemed determined to resist his attempts to show her kindness, but he wouldn’t be warded away so easily this time. He was determined to break through the barriers she’d built around herself.

“I’m not leaving until you take my arm,” he informed her bluntly. Brenna seemed to search for some kind of defense, but finding none, she muttered something unintelligible under her breath and reluctantly took his arm.

“Do you often use this tactic with maidens?” she asked as he gripped his cane in his other hand and led her out of the room.

“Well…” Fili thought for a moment and shrugged. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience with maidens, but I do enjoy getting my way,” he smirked. “And my tactics always worked on my uncle.”

“Your charm will get you nowhere,” she told him bluntly. “I am no sheltered maiden.”

Fili glanced at her as they meandered through the halls in the direction of the training arena. “Tell me do all gnome maidens have such bold tongues?”

“Gnome maidens rule our clans,” she explained. “We’re taught to speak our mind.”

Fili raised a brow with curiosity, “so your people are female dominated?”

Brenna nodded. “Only females can become chieftains or members of the elder’s council,” she explained. “And females dominate most trades. My people are known for their textile works, males do work alongside us in that realm, but they are generally not seen outside our villages.”

“I see,” Fili said. “It must have been hard to be taken away from that life to serve humans.”

Brenna nodded, “I’ve learned that humans are unpredictable and not to be trusted. The kinds of things I’ve seen and…” she trailed off suddenly. Fili glanced at her. She’d nearly revealed too much of her past. Her secret, mysterious past. In fact, he’d gotten her to lower her guard. She had seemed at ease, talking about her people. More relaxed. So she wasn’t completely frozen solid, he realized.

“I respect that you come from a hardy race,” Fili said as they walked. “And I respect your bold, independent tongue. In fact, I find it quite intriguing. But you attack far too often and I think it has little to do with being a gnome.”

“What are you talking about?” Brenna demanded, her tone hot once more. “I do not attack.”

“You do attack,” Fili insisted. “You resist any attempt anyone makes to be kind to you. You refuse to trust and you refuse to accept help from anyone. You are constantly on the defense and you drive others away.”

“What do you know…” Brenna growled.

“I know that this tactic is useful for keeping others at a distance,” Fili continued. “I think if someone has been hurt too often, it would be an acceptable method of defense. Something you do in order to protect your heart. But you are determined to sabotage any attempts at happiness and friendship.”

“You know nothing about me.”

“I don’t wish to pry into your past,” Fili said. “But I think you want a friend, you are just afraid to admit that you need one. You are afraid to be vulnerable and allow anyone in.”

“I don’t need anyone,” Brenna responded, though it was clear that her resolve was faltering. Fili smiled a little to himself as they neared the door to the arena. Glancing at the gnome, he wondered.

“Do you train?” he asked, stopping in front of the door.

“Train?”

“Are you skilled with a blade?”

Brenna nodded, “weak gnomes do not last long in the Forodwaiths,” she said, “And we are not docile like hobbits. But my blade was taken from me long ago.”

“If you insist on attacking so often with words, then perhaps it’s time for you to challenge me more properly,” Fili said, throwing the door open. “We have some spare blades in here, that is if you think you can best me.” As he walked into the seating area, peering down into the oval shaped arena, he nearly doubled over in surprise at what he saw.

Kili and Asphodel were there, standing in the center of the arena… kissing! Two bows and two quivers full of arrows lay in the dirt beside them as they seemed locked in one another’s embrace, completely oblivious to those around them.

“Asphodel!” Brenna shrieked and the two whirled around. Asphodel gasped in surprise and even from their height at the top of the seating areas, Fili could see both their faces turn beet red with embarrassment.

“Uh… Fili…” Kili stammered, “we were just… practicing.”

“I can see that,” Fili said as he and Brenna descended the stairs to the arena. Asphodel scrambled to get her bow.

Fili was shocked to say the least, but the look on his brother’s face made him chuckle a little. Brenna, however, was not amused.

“I can’t believe this!” Brenna exclaimed, grabbing Asphodel by the arm, “what do you think you were doing!”

“We weren’t doing anything wrong,” Asphodel insisted. “Kili agreed to teach me archery and... “

“I don’t want to hear it,” Brenna said, pulling Asphodel, “come, we need to get ready for the festivities.”

Fili frowned as he watched Brenna drag the poor hobbit along, not even acknowledging the two dwarves.

“Bye Kili…” Asphodel mumbled as they left.

Once they were gone, Fili turned to his brother. Kili looked at him sheepishly, his face still bright red.

“Kili…” Fili began.

“If you have anything negative to say, I don’t want to hear it,” Kili said quickly.

“Just tell me how long… this has been going on?”

Kili sighed and picked up his bow and quiver, “since you regained feeling in your legs, about a month” he admitted. “I agreed to teach her how to defend herself. Brother, she was being mistreated back in Lake-town! I just wanted to help!”

“Okay, okay…” Fili ran his hand through his hair as the two of them walked back to Kili’s chambers. This complicated matters, for sure. Although he realized with some embarrassment that he had more than enjoyed his time with Brenna and how easily he might be caught up in the same situation if she would permit it.

“Are you going to tell Uncle?” Kili asked with concern, staring at his brother intently.

“Well he’s going to find out eventually,” Fili reasoned. “How far has this gone?”

Kili swallowed, “I… I think I love her.”

“Kili… and what are you going to do when she and Master Baggins leave?”

Kili winced. He’d clearly been thinking about that possibility. Fili sighed and put an arm on his brother’s shoulders as they both sat down on the bed. “I won’t tell him,” he said, “but you should. And you know he won’t approve.”

“I don’t understand why,” Kili said. “Is it so wrong?”

“Well, you are a prince and she’s not,” Fili said, rather bluntly, “and you are a dwarf and she’s not. That’s how Thorin will see it. And that is how the people will see it. And I would imagine that Master Baggins will see it in a similar light.”

Fili felt bad when Kili hung his head, looking at the floor. “I… I don’t want her to leave.” Kili lamented.

“She has to,” Fili said. Sometimes he hated being the big brother. He didn’t like breaking his brother’s heart. He also realized, with disdain, how futile it was for him to try to befriend Brenna. It would only end this way. “She’s a hobbit, she belongs in the shire.”

“I know…” Kili said sadly. 

“If you care about her, you’ll want her to be happy. These girls have led a hard life of servitude, they deserve happiness.”

“She can be happy here,” Kili pointed out, his voice told Fili he was trying to convince himself.

“How will it be for her? Uncle won’t approve. And even if he does, she’d have to endure a life of ridicule. The people will not be supportive of their prince marrying a hobbit.”

“What should it matter to them?” Kili argued, “I’m not the heir.”

“It shouldn’t matter,” Fili agreed, “and I wish it didn’t, but it does. We just reclaimed Erebor and now we have duties.”

Kili sighed long and hard and leaned his head against his brother’s shoulder. “I sometimes wish we had never reclaimed it,” he said. “It’s brought us both nothing but grief and heartache.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Fili said sadly. “Come, we’d better start getting ready. We can enjoy the festivities tonight, tomorrow we’ll see what happens.”

  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

The coronation was probably the most formal event Kili had ever participated in. It seemed as though everyone in Middle Earth had crowded on the plain before Erebor’s gate to see Thorin be crowned king. 

There was one dwarf who was noticeably absent from the crowd that evening. Fili and Kili had been there to receive the first few waves of dwarves from the Blue Mountains who had arrived in early spring. Many of their relatives and friends had been among the first arrivals, including Gimli who happily joined his father and uncle in Erebor. But the one dwarrowdam who seemed to not be among the arrivals was their own mother. When wave after wave of dwarves arrived and Dis was not among them, Fili and Kili began to worry.

It was shortly before the coronation was to begin, moments after Fili had finished discussing the situation regarding Asphodel, and the boys had nearly finished getting into their royal robes, that there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Kili called as he worked on Fili’s braids while the golden haired dwarf sat in front of him. Thorin entered and Kili blinked at his uncle’s appearance. Thorin was wearing a long flowing king’s robe, it’s long train trailing behind him. It was a deep red color and made of the finest furs and silk. Underneath the robe, he wore a formal silk tunic decorated with gold trimmings. 

“Uncle, you look quite kingly,” Fili pointed out as he sat patiently waiting for Kili to finish his braids. Even Kili wore braids for this occasion.

“My lads,” Thorin said and his tone made Kili pause. Thorin looked solemn and Kili knew immediately that something had gone wrong. He felt his stomach drop as he frowned.

“What is it, Uncle?” Kili asked innocently. 

“I just got word about your mother,” Thorin said. Those words made Kili’s blood run cold. He let go of Fili’s hair as the blonde quickly got to his feet.

“She’s going to be in the next convoy, isn’t she?” Fili asked.

“There was an ambush on her convoy as it passed over the misty mountains,” Thorin said. “I’m afraid she didn’t make it.”

Kili exchanged looks with his brother and for a moment Thorin’s words didn’t quite register, “what?” he asked, “you… you mean she’s dead?”

Thorin only nodded and Kili felt hot tears sting his eyes. He immediately felt rage well up within him, “we can’t let them get away with it!” he exclaimed. “How dare they!”

“What shall be our response to this attack?” Fili demanded, his voice quivering with anger.

“There shall be no response,” Thorin said with a sigh. “We just finished a massive battle. Our warriors are spread thin… I’m afraid we aren’t in any condition to inflict the revenge on them that they deserve. I’m sorry, Lads.”

“You mean we’re just going to let them get away with it!” Fili exclaimed. “Uncle!”

“What will you have me do, Boy?” Thorin said harshly, “Dain’s warriors were nearly spent in defense of this mountain. Our people are just starting to rebuild. And the Misty Mountains are teeming with goblin hordes so vast, they could overtake anything we could send to them. You know this.”

Somehow, Kili knew Thorin was right, but he wasn’t willing to let it go. Someone had to pay for this. He turned away, trying to compose himself, even as his mind searched for ways to solve this.

“I’m sorry to bring you this kind of news, Lads,” Thorin said, coming forward to clasp Fili on the shoulder. “I had hoped this to be an enjoyable occasion. For you two at least.”

Kili turned back towards Thorin, “not for you?”

“Just nerves, I suppose,” Thorin responded. Kili studied his uncle. There was more than nervousness. There was a lot weighing his uncle down.

“I have a lot to make up to the two of you,” Thorin said after a long pause. “I should have never have brought you along on this quest.”

“We wouldn’t have been left behind,” Fili informed him.

“I made some shameful mistakes and you two suffered for it. Many have suffered for my mistakes. Many have died for my mistakes. I hope I can make it up somehow.”

Kili only responded by coming over to his uncle and embracing him. Fili was quick to do the same and the three of them stayed like that for a time.

The coronation went on without incident. Thorin, Fili, and Kili were all presented before an overwhelming crowd. Gandalf conducted the ceremony and it seemed as though all of middle earth was spread out on the plain before the gates of Erebor. As Kili stood over the parapets, watching Gandalf place the raven crown upon Thorin’s head, and as his uncle gave many grand speeches about rebuilding the kingdom and calling all of the dwarves of Erebor home, Kili began to feel the weight of his own crown. A modest silver crown sat firmly on his head while Fili wore a gold one. The two stood side by side with Thorin, accepting their place at his side.

And although everyone was in high spirits, everything they had gone through suddenly hit Kili hard. And the future seemed uncertain to him.

Later in the evening as he and his kin presided over the royal ball from their banquet table, watching their people make merry and dance as if there wasn’t a care at all in their hearts, Kili felt forlorn and downtrodden. Who was he now? What was his role to be in this new kingdom he had helped to reclaim? What would they expect of him? And could he handle such burdens? He felt even more uncertain for his brother. But most of all, he couldn’t shake the heartache he felt even at such an occasion. His mother, he’d promised he’d come back to her but it was she who failed to come to him. 

And of course there was the other, more pressing heartache. Kili had searched the crowds for the one he’d hoped would be there. He’d seen her near the front row standing with her own kin, but since retiring to the ball, he hadn’t seen her. His heart beat a million miles as he kept glancing at the door where guests came in and out. 

“Brother, you’ve hardly touched your meal,” Fili said as he sat besides Kili. “People are watching us.”

“Let them watch,” Kili said bitterly, glancing down at his untouched plate. “Asphodel isn’t at the ball.”

“She probably retired early,” Fili informed him. “They are leaving in the morning.”

This news hit Kili like a boulder. He let out a breath. Of course he knew it was coming, he knew she was leaving. But so soon… he’d hardly had the time to sort out his feelings. Feelings his brother had warned him against having.

“Forget about her,” Fili said sternly. “You barely know her. What you think you feel… how can it be love?”

“I know what it is,” Kili responded, turning to look his brother in the eye. “I’ve never felt so sure of it. After all we’ve been through. After what we’ve just lost… how can I…”

Kili trailed off when he noticed the sudden focused look in his brother’s eyes. Fili’s eyes were fixed on the door and the look on his face was of pure mesmerization.

“Brother?” 

“They certainly know how to draw one’s eyes,” Fili murmured and when Kili turned, he too was mesmerized. Asphodel and Brenna stood in the doorway with Bilbo. While Bilbo quickly moved into the crowd, the girls remained, their eyes locking with the two princes across the room.

“She’s stunning,” Kili murmured. Asphodel was dressed in a flowing silk ball gown of deep greens. The form fitting gown swayed about her as she moved into the room, her curly red hair was intricately curled and braided around a gold, green jeweled hair piece, and a green broach accented her bare neck. She seemed to glow with radiance, especially when she looked right at Kili and smiled.

Beside her, Brenna wore a similarly intricate costume of royal purple, though she looked somewhat less enthusiastic about their presence.

Kili remembered his conversation with Fili and looked at him. “Will the people judge what they see?”

“You can count on it,” his brother said sadly. “That’s the price of royalty.”

Kili looked beyond Fili to Thorin, who was enthralled in a conversation with Balin and Dwalin. Kili tried to quell his thoughts. They would see soon enough. And Thorin would know. But there she was, standing in the middle of the room, waiting for him, for any acknowledgement.

So Kili made his decision. “Let them see then,” he said to Fili before excusing himself from the banquet table and hurrying to her.

“Prince Kili,” Asphodel said as he moved across the room to stand before her. She bowed courteously. “I have never participated in such luxury.”

“What? the master of Lake-town doesn’t seem the type to be modest about his lavish lifestyle,” Kili responded. “Surely he enjoyed entertaining.”

“He did,” Asphodel said. “But the most we could hope for is to tend him and his guests and keep their bellies full.”

“Well I’m glad you are here now,” Kili said. “I was afraid you weren’t coming to the ball.”

“I was afraid I wasn’t either,” Asphodel responded, a look of reservation crossing her face. “Brenna warned against it. We needn’t bother, she said.”

“I’m glad you convinced her otherwise,” Kili responded. “You look beautiful.”

Asphodel smiled widely and looked about herself. “Can you believe we found these gowns in our closet?” she said. “Brenna hemmed them for us. I never thought I’d wear such luxury. I’d feared we would be dressing too presumptuous.”

“Presumptuous?” Kili reached over and placed her hand on his arm as they cruised about the ballroom. And as Fili warned, Kili caught many dwarves glancing in their direction as they walked. Brenna shot Asphodel a warning glare from where she stood in the far corner.

“We are servant girls, not royalty. I am not worthy of such clothing.”

“No,” Kili corrected, “you are most certainly worthy. You aren’t servants any longer, you must stop thinking as though you still are. I don’t know much about hobbit social structure much, but I happened to gather that your uncle is one of great status and I happen to know we will be sending him home with quite a bit of treasure. You might as well consider yourself in high status from now on.” He focused on her now, gazing into her eyes just as music began to be played and guests began to move towards the dance floor. “Shall we dance?”

“Oh what will they say?” Asphodel protested.

“Who?”

“You’re people. They are all watching. Their prince dancing with a hobbit, what will they think?”

“They’ll think I’ve gone mad,” Kili said with a chuckle. “But let them judge. I don’t care.” He led her to the dance floor and pulled her to him. Elegantly, they began to dance. They swayed across the dance floor as gracefully as other dancers moved around them. For Kili, time seemed to stop and the rest of the room melted away. All he could see was her. He was completely unaware of the fact that his uncle’s attention had been drawn to him, and he was even more unaware of the look of alarm spreading across Thorin’s face.

Kili was in a dream. He smiled at her and felt almost giddy when she returned it. Instantly, it was as if all the cares, all the heart aches, all the uncertainties didn’t matter anymore. And as if to secure this feeling, as if to somehow keep it, he leaned in to lock his lips with hers. Closing his eyes, he savored her kiss, her touch, for a long precious moment, breaking the kiss only to press his forehead to hers lovingly.

“Is our love so wrong?” Asphodel said after a while. She gazed up at him, searching his eyes.

And suddenly all the pain and uncertainty came rushing back. He began to feel as if he was suffocating as he recalled what his brother had said. He looked at her with sorrow, “it’s poor timing,” he said.

“Poor timing?”

“You are leaving tomorrow. Back to the shire. Where you belong.”

“I know…” the terrible sadness in her voice hurt him. “Then this… it’s wrong. I shouldn’t have come.” She stopped dancing, moving back from him, tears trickling out of her eyes. “I’m sorry Kili.” And she tore away from his arms and turned and ran out of the ballroom, leaving him devastated. 

“Kili…” Thorin approached him now and he turned to him. He suddenly became aware that the music had stopped and all eyes were on him. But he wasn’t going to back down.

“What do you have to say to me, Uncle?” Kili warned as Fili came over to stand beside Thorin as well. “What do you expect me to say?”

“How far has this gone?” Thorin demanded, his tone hard. By now, Bilbo and Brenna were there too. Everyone was watching. The company, the people.

Kili felt annoyed. “Far enough,” he replied bitterly. He looked around at all the stunned faces. “What are you all staring at?” he demanded. “Haven’t you ever seen a dwarf kiss a hobbit?”

“Brother…” Fili warned.

“No,” Kili held up a hand. “We’ve come halfway across the world on a quest. When we left Ered Luin, I had hoped it would be an adventure. I soon found otherwise. It has brought nothing but misery and heartache. I’ve been hurt, brought to the brink of death. I’ve seen blood, death on a colossal scale. I’ve seen my uncle’s will turn to madness over this blasted treasure horde. I’ve seen my brother suffer for this gold! For this kingdom, for all of you! And now you have the audacity to judge me for falling in love with a hobbit?”

“You have duties,” Thorin began, “you are a prince.”

“I have duties!” Kili exclaimed, fury spurning him on. Then a sudden idea hit him and he moved back, away from his uncle. “Very well, Uncle. I have duties. Then let me fulfill them. If being a prince matters for anything, let it count for this. It would appear that there is still pain I must suffer before this quest is finally put to rest.”

With that, Kili turned and hurried out of the ballroom, running as fast as his legs could carry him. “Asphodel!” he shouted, running through the palace at top speeds, searching every nook and crevice for his love. He was determined now. He had a plan. He didn’t know what the outcome would be. He didn’t know if he’d only delay the inevitable, but it was something he would risk.

He finally found her standing in a room, an empty balcony overlooking the land below. The stars shone about her as she stared out, her back to him. He heard her silent sobs.

“Asphodel,” his voice had her whirl around. Tears streamed down her face.

“I can’t, Kili,” she lamented. “I was so happy to be going to the shire. To finally see my long lost home, it was my greatest dream. But now… the thought of it causes more pain than the point of a blade. Why must we part?”

“We don’t have to,” he said. “Not yet. I’m going with you.”

“What?” she gasped in astonishment. “To the shire? But your place is here.”

“Not right now it isn’t,” Kili said. “I’m going to escort you back. It may delay the inevitable heartache, but at least I can be assured that you made it safe to the shire and that you will be happy.”

Asphodel regarded him for a moment, “there are other reasons, aren’t there,” she asked. “Besides us.”

“Yes,” Kili said with a sigh, “earlier today I learned word that the convoy which was to deliver my mother here was ambushed and destroyed while crossing the misty mountains.”

“Oh Kili,” Asphodel moved over to him and gazed up at him with sympathy. “Your mother is dead then?”

Kili nodded sadly. “The path you will take to the shire is dangerous. There are still battles for me to fight. I will not let my mother’s death be in vain. There is something that tells me our dangers are far from over. That Erebor is still in danger. My uncle won’t act, we haven’t the army to defend ourselves, the battle cost us so much. I’m going to escort you home and then I’m going to see to this threat.”

“But you are only one dwarf!” Asphodel gasped. “You can’t risk yourself!”

“I can,” Kili insisted. “I am the second prince. Fili is the heir, not me. His job is to prepare for his future kingship. My job is to make sure his kingship comes. Now… will you have me on your quest home?”

At that, Asphodel was suddenly in his arms. He held her tight as he thought of what he had just agreed to do. He knew it was a spur of the moment plan, he knew it was reckless. He knew he could very well lead himself to death. But there was no going back now, and he was determined that no one would stop him. He had to do this. Not just for Asphodel, but for his kingdom. He would not let his mother’s murder go unanswered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of this story. Like I said before, this was supposed to be a trilogy and part two was about Kili’s trip back to the shire. I wrote this story long ago and lost interest in continuing it, but in going through and uploading it I’ve started to get back into it and I’m thinking about writing part two. So be on the lookout for it in the future! In the meantime I hope you’ll tell me in the comments what you thought of this, I’d love some feedback.


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